Tara, 19, from Norwich, asks:

There is a guy in my lecture who I met 5 months ago. After 2 lectures he asked me for my email address. A few days later he emailed me his number. I messaged him mine and we've been texting since.

He was good with texts at first, yet only called twice. Of which once on the phone he was making a haaagh/ough noise- I said-what’s that noise- he just said he makes that noise when he’s tired!! Whatever??! Like a month ago his texts got less frequent and saying late reply as busy and that. Recently, he said he’s lousy with texts but also said he loads so deletes them all. I have asked him twice before if he wanted to do something but he replied too late or had work. As I was leaving my uni for summer, he asked if he could come over, I always said he should come over and see what halls are like. It was a bit awkward when he came. We went to get some food then when back, he finally just kissed me. We kissed lying in my bed and then when I went to get changed he was already in his boxers in my bed! I thought that was a little bit rushed. When kissing he was very vocal as he made that noise from the phone-which is slightly below speaking level (thought slightly unusual but I have little experience) when kissing and then his hands started wondering. We are both virgins (shh) and 19, but due to religious reasons not going to have sex-that was discussed one phone convo at the beginning my him somehow generally. He said girls always wanted to move it on to the next stage and that ended the relationship. Whilst in bed we sort of played around kissing wise, he licked my face, rubbed noses etc (?) and touched me clothing wise everywhere. I didn’t let his hand get under my knickers (sorry for graphic) as was first time I'd kissed him (and first proper kiss really) and I wasn’t going to see him for a few months but I didn’t tell him that and I didn’t touch his balls at all under or over his boxers. But he touched me over my clothes. We kissed at points in the night and slept cuddled together. I texted him after my lesson asking if he got home ok. In one text I said I liked kissing him and him kissing me (maybe that was too much) and he replied that he liked my tongue because it's big and he likes to suck on it! How lovely! Then to a text of mine which was a bit dry with no question he didn’t text back. Nothing for 21 weeks. On messenger, he said hi and that he had to go, and asked if he could text me later. We were both on messenger for hour the other day and neither of us spoke to each other. So does he like me at all or just sexually frustrated or friends?? Sometimes he’s sweet and I’ve been lonely at uni so really valued his existence. But he’s got friends as it’s his home so I’m not sure if I’m of any importance. The lecture was an extra so we don’t have to see each other again. Thanks! Is he annoyed about not going a bit further or do you think he just doesn’t like me? Why is he doing this and what's my best course of action-if he texts should I ignore? Or does he just not like me?Thanks so much!! Can't talk to anyone else xxxxxxx

VictorM's answer:

Sorry I edited out portions of your submission, but girl, you can get into some serious detail. I left in the most amusing passages, some of which cracked me up... big tongue, huh? And what's up with those noises he makes? :)

Anyway, I think the guy likes you. If you read previous answers of mine you'll see how often I say that most guys HATE to do the text/phone/messenger thing. Guys are very physical. That's why he can spend the night with you even if sex is not involved, but not as excited about the other forms of communications. Besides, he's with his friends. I'm sure he's out having fun. Just because he may like you doesn't mean he's going to get stuck at home.

If you still like him and he texts you, why should you ignore him? Don't.

Is he turned off because of your no sex for religious reasons? Could be but it doesn't appear so. He just seems like an active, involved, easily tired kinda guy. He seems to prefer girls like you who take things slower. You are the most fun to pursue -- there's an extra reward when you violate your religious oath. ]:->