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Thursday, May 24, 2007
Set days
Madi, 28, from Louisiana, asks:
I am a single mom who was dating this guy for 3 months and when we first started dating he understood that it would be part time until we get to know each other better because I didn't want to introduce anyone to my son so soon. Well I have every other weekend, every Thursday and every other Sunday off . My son's at his fathers. I thought that he should want to spend time with me on my off days but he didn't one day and I got mad. And we haven't spoke since. Should I call him and try to fix it? He said that the whole set days thing and always being on my terms wasn't fair. Please advise. I miss him.
VictorM's advice:
If you miss him, yeah, call him.
I can understand you wanting to protect your son, but I can also understand him getting frustrated by the set schedule and limited time with you. Really, how can you get to know each other better if you don't see each other enough?
You may want to reach some compromise where he visits you more often but you agree to keep your hands off each other in the presence of your son. Or he comes a little later at night after your son is asleep. I can understand you wanting to limit contact between them for now, but you're not just a mom; you're a single woman too. Dating is also a part of your life. The sooner your son, your ex-husband, and yourself realize that, the better. Don't look to exclude, look to balance.
I am a single mom who was dating this guy for 3 months and when we first started dating he understood that it would be part time until we get to know each other better because I didn't want to introduce anyone to my son so soon. Well I have every other weekend, every Thursday and every other Sunday off . My son's at his fathers. I thought that he should want to spend time with me on my off days but he didn't one day and I got mad. And we haven't spoke since. Should I call him and try to fix it? He said that the whole set days thing and always being on my terms wasn't fair. Please advise. I miss him.
VictorM's advice:
If you miss him, yeah, call him.
I can understand you wanting to protect your son, but I can also understand him getting frustrated by the set schedule and limited time with you. Really, how can you get to know each other better if you don't see each other enough?
You may want to reach some compromise where he visits you more often but you agree to keep your hands off each other in the presence of your son. Or he comes a little later at night after your son is asleep. I can understand you wanting to limit contact between them for now, but you're not just a mom; you're a single woman too. Dating is also a part of your life. The sooner your son, your ex-husband, and yourself realize that, the better. Don't look to exclude, look to balance.
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