maxi, 20, from ct, asks:

Here I go again... (this is before i read the advice) Sunday I asked him what he'd be doing after work and he said he wasn't going to do much maybe he'll go watch a movie, so he asked me what I was going to do and I said nothing as well... then he said, if I didn't want to do anything then that's fine with him! I then replied by saying if that was his way of asking me out on a date he would have to come up with a different way. He did!!! He smsed me later that night and asked but then I told him I was busy but that we could do something on Monday after class. He never replied and I didn't call or sms-nothing, then on Wednesday at work again he greeted me with a kiss and after work he kissed me goodnight and that was it. Why can't he call me first or sms? I always have to initialize communication. What's up with that? He shows interest but doesn't-if that makes any sense!!! What do suppose I do? I'm out of ideas! And getting real tired of this. I'm sure you are too! Do you think his playing hard to get or just being as you said a jerk????

VictorM's advice:

It's starting to sound to me like you're a little too rigid with your expectations of him. You are not a couple! You are not boyfriend/girlfriend. You are two people somewhat interested in the other. You are expecting him to behave as a committed boyfriend and he's avoiding that label, hence the reluctance to call you first. He KNOWS you're itching to get hitched. He's not. He just wants to know you a little better before getting serious but you'll push him away with your expectations and inflexibility.

I mean, look at your expectations for how he should ask you on a date. He didn't do it as you wanted and you jumped on the guy. You seem so eager to pounce on him when your expectations aren't met. He's not a mind reader. People are different. You need to relax.

Maxi, don't hate me, but maybe he's not the one who is being a jerk.

*hides under the desk!*