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Friday, May 25, 2007
I've been dating this guy for 3 weeks
Marianne, 22, from Boston, asks:
I've been dating this guy for 3 weeks now and we're slowly getting intimate. Truth is: I really like him but I don't want to have sex until we become boyfriend and girlfriend (if we ever do). How can I tell him that without scaring him away?
VictorM's answer:
Why would you be worried about scaring him away? If all he wants his sex, be thankful you scared him away. If he wants more than just sex, he'll be pleased you feel as you do. You should, after all, be interested in a guy who shares your values. The sooner you find out what he thinks, the better.
I just wouldn't phrase it as "until we become boyfriend and girlfriend" because a simple, "hey, wanna be my girlfriend?" calls your bluff and then you're screwed. Make it something more on your own terms, like "no sex untilyou buy me a pair of Prada shoes I'm ready." This gives you more control over the situation.
I've been dating this guy for 3 weeks now and we're slowly getting intimate. Truth is: I really like him but I don't want to have sex until we become boyfriend and girlfriend (if we ever do). How can I tell him that without scaring him away?
VictorM's answer:
Why would you be worried about scaring him away? If all he wants his sex, be thankful you scared him away. If he wants more than just sex, he'll be pleased you feel as you do. You should, after all, be interested in a guy who shares your values. The sooner you find out what he thinks, the better.
I just wouldn't phrase it as "until we become boyfriend and girlfriend" because a simple, "hey, wanna be my girlfriend?" calls your bluff and then you're screwed. Make it something more on your own terms, like "no sex until
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