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Sunday, May 27, 2007
How Long Is Long Enough?
sandy, 44, from michigan, asks:
I have had relations with this man of some sort another for 2 years. We are trying to have a committed relationship, but I'm not sure if he ready or just not capable. How do I go about finding out? I wasted 25 years with another man and 2 years should be long enough for him to know if it's me he wants. How do I find this out?
VictorM's advice:
Two years is more than enough time. If a guy can't commit after that, no matter how anyone spins it, he's not into you. He may be getting all he wants from you (sex, company, etc.) and he's happy with this arrangement or he's just not into you enough but he'll stick around until he finds someone better. Either way, he's settling for less than ideal.
You ask how you find out what he wants but whether you admit it or not, you already know the answers to your question. This isn't about him anymore; it's about you. Do you have the courage to be alone while searching for a man who is into you or are you willing to settle for what you've got?
Currently, you're no different than him -- you're just settling too.
I have had relations with this man of some sort another for 2 years. We are trying to have a committed relationship, but I'm not sure if he ready or just not capable. How do I go about finding out? I wasted 25 years with another man and 2 years should be long enough for him to know if it's me he wants. How do I find this out?
VictorM's advice:
Two years is more than enough time. If a guy can't commit after that, no matter how anyone spins it, he's not into you. He may be getting all he wants from you (sex, company, etc.) and he's happy with this arrangement or he's just not into you enough but he'll stick around until he finds someone better. Either way, he's settling for less than ideal.
You ask how you find out what he wants but whether you admit it or not, you already know the answers to your question. This isn't about him anymore; it's about you. Do you have the courage to be alone while searching for a man who is into you or are you willing to settle for what you've got?
Currently, you're no different than him -- you're just settling too.
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