Kate, 13, from Boston, asks:

There’s this guy I really liked, and who I thought liked me back. I finally got up the courage to tell him how I felt about him. Last week, he told me friend that he liked me back. Then, he told her that he didn’t like me. Finally, he gave me a note that said “I don’t like you” last Friday. At lunch when I was in the bathroom, he apparently came over, insulted me and gave me the middle finger, and later in the day he totally trashed me in front of all of my friends and the rest of the school. NOW he’s telling everyone we’re going out and I haven’t even spoken to him for a week! I’m so confused! We were good friends for a very long time and I was comfortable with just being myself around him, and his behavior really hurt me. What does he really want and how should I confront him the next time I see him? And WHAT was up with his weird behavior? He really hurt me.

VictorM's answer:

Boys mature at a slower age than girls, specially around your age group. Many early teen boys just can't handle the thought of liking girls yet. Some are afraid of it because liking a girl means possibly having to do things (kissing, making out, etc.) that they are not ready for yet. The other important thing to keep in mind is that boys get mercilessly made fun of by their male friends if they appear to like a girl, or if she likes him. My guess is your friend went overboard with things that hurt your feelings just to get his friends off his back.

He's simply not ready for the boy-girl thing yet. Try again in a couple of years and the story will be totally different.