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Tuesday, April 17, 2007
We know what the other is thinking
shayla, 38, from canada asks:
I met this guy online. We have everything in common. We know what the other is thinking. Recently he pulled back because he is scared to be hurt. But last time we talked, he let me know that recently he looked into vasectomy reversal and that he was scared to tell me he couldn't have kids. Is that a good sign?
VictorM's answer:
Reversing a vasectomy clearly is a sign he's not into you just for the sex. I assume you have indicated your willingness or desire to have children and he doesn't want to disappoint you. And he was worried about how you'd take the news. These are indeed all good signs.
But before you go building castles in the air, have you met him yet? Have you smelled him? Does he wear socks with holes in them? Does he change is underwear less often than Donald Trump gets a haircut? There are lots of things that can be wrong with a guy even if he knows what you're thinking. (Please read this previous Question and Answer: Online Relationships: Good or Bad?)
Also, if he's scared to be hurt -- not uncommon if a previous relationship didn't end well -- it could mean that he's carrying baggage that you will have to deal with and may even have to pay for.
I'm not telling you to back off from this relationship, not at all; I'm just warning you to proceed with caution.
Tags: online relationship, afraid to be hurt, guy online
I met this guy online. We have everything in common. We know what the other is thinking. Recently he pulled back because he is scared to be hurt. But last time we talked, he let me know that recently he looked into vasectomy reversal and that he was scared to tell me he couldn't have kids. Is that a good sign?
VictorM's answer:
Reversing a vasectomy clearly is a sign he's not into you just for the sex. I assume you have indicated your willingness or desire to have children and he doesn't want to disappoint you. And he was worried about how you'd take the news. These are indeed all good signs.
But before you go building castles in the air, have you met him yet? Have you smelled him? Does he wear socks with holes in them? Does he change is underwear less often than Donald Trump gets a haircut? There are lots of things that can be wrong with a guy even if he knows what you're thinking. (Please read this previous Question and Answer: Online Relationships: Good or Bad?)
Also, if he's scared to be hurt -- not uncommon if a previous relationship didn't end well -- it could mean that he's carrying baggage that you will have to deal with and may even have to pay for.
I'm not telling you to back off from this relationship, not at all; I'm just warning you to proceed with caution.
Tags: online relationship, afraid to be hurt, guy online
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