Amy, 33, from USA, asks:

I have been seeing this guy for eight months, and we have a great time together. He used to tell me that he loved me and that he eventually wanted to get married. Two months after we started seeing each other, I had a little angry outburst at him, but we talked it out and everything has been fine since, although he has not told me that he loves me since then. Recently, I had another outburst (I get frustrated and angry-nothing to do with him, but it all comes out at once)(it has only happened twice in eight months, and it is something I am working on), and he says that he needs time to think about what he wants out of the relationship. Otherwise, we get along great and never fight. Should I be worried that he is going to end it? Is it a typical, "i'm not sure how to deal with this" reaction, and after he has some down time he will not think it's a huge deal? Should I call him just to say "hey, what's up?" or let him call me first? What are your thoughts on the situation? Thank you.

VictorM's advice:

When two people start seeing each other, they are scoping the other one out. Sometimes, unfair as it seems, the smallest thing can be a turn off about the other. And quite often, when one ceases to be into the other, anything provides an exit.

Is this how this guy is feeling about you? Quite possibly. To you they were just two outbursts, but to him it could very well be a personality trait he doesn't like. If indeed this is what happened, he's not longer into you and you're history. Don't expect him to come out and say it, though -- guys seldom say exactly what they're thinking. What's more likely is that he'll gradually stay away from you.

But it's also possible that once he gets over being stung by your outburst he will come around as if nothing happened. And that's how you will be able to tell. If he's his old self, all is fine. If he seems a little distant, or makes excuses, you are history; it's just a matter of time.

Yes, you should call him. Show him that you're into him, just in case he's doubting how you feel about him. Talk as if nothing is wrong and take it from there.


Tags: Relationship Advice, outburst, needs time to think, going to end it, Should I call him