Noelle, 17, asks:

I have this friend who I used to like but I don't like anymore because of some stuff that has happened in the past and most recently the way that he talked to me in an email and on the phone. He said I was pushy at times, possessive at times, self conscious, and said that we both weren't ready for a relationship yet. I talked to him and he explained what he meant and basically he took two things that I said to him and that's what made me those things. I told him he was labeling me and he told me he was just describing my behavior. In the email he also said that he didn't want to be tied down but that if he was to be with any girl it would be me. I told him I wasn't sure whether I want to be friends with him or not anymore and that I definitely didn't want to be his girlfriend anymore. But we sort of worked it out and are still friends. But when I think about it I wonder if I should still be friends with him, should I?

VictorM's advice:

I can understand you not wanting to be his girlfriend, but even if he's dead wrong, calling you pushy and possessive are hardly insults. Of course you can choose your friends based on any criteria and if he doesn't measure up, end the friendship. But before you do, consider this: it's not so bad to have a friend who his willing to be honest and direct with you, even if you disagree. His willingness to be straight forward with you is a quality worth considering having on a friend.

Now its my turn to surmise someting from what you wrote. You sound too sensitive. As I said, his observations were hardly insults. So unless there's more to it that you didn't say, you need to develop some skin.


Tags: Choosing friends, pushy and possessive, friendship