Tina Li, 27, from Vancouver asks:

Around 2 months ago, I 'broke up' with a guy but I said would still like to be friends with him. Things between us were going well as we both rushed into it, and both of us came out confused. So I decided that I needed the time and space from being in such a tough situation. We've barely spoken with each other for the 2 months and now we're somewhat talking again (politely and civilly). Throughout this whole time, part of me wants to get back together with him, start a clean slate, and try again. But I'm not sure how to gauge him to see if he might be interested in trying again. What should I do?

VictorM's advice:

You don't gauge; you ask. After all, you're the one who initiated the brake-up, so it's up to you to mend things. Besides, he's probably too guarded around you to let you know what he feels.

Doesn't sound to me like there's much flame left (after all, only part of you wants to try again). You probably have all the information you need to know he's not the right guy but you're stuck on the past. What do you think changed in 2 months that will prevent the relationship from suffering the same fate again? Face it, Tina. You're just in a rut, afraid to look forward.

But I say have a go at him, ask him out again, if nothing else to remove all doubt. Then you can start looking for the right guy without the nagging "what if" question hanging over your head.

Labels: friends with my ex, getting back together