May, 33, from Asia asks:

Hi, I have been dating a guy for four months now. We do like each other very much. But the problem is this guy has serious financial problems and need to borrow my money almost every month, and this become an issue to kill our relationship. He thinks I don't love him when I refuse to lend him money. And I hate him to ask me for the money again. He thinks I am his girl friend and should help him out. We fight a lot because of that. He likes to drive my car, but no money to pay for the gas sometimes. I told him not to use the car if no money to pay for the gas. I don't mind take bus together with him. One night, he had no money to refill the gas and the car almost died on the street. I refuse to help him out because I've told him I wouldn't pay for the gas again. He thinks I am not good to him. Now we stop calling each other and I miss him. What should I do?

VictorM's advice:

I hope you are aware that his problems aren't just money. He lacks self-respect, he doesn't have consideration for you, he is manipulative, he hurts your feelings, he has lousy money skills. In a nutshell, he's a loser and he will ruin your life. But, you miss him... *sigh*

OK, so you miss him... Why not accept that he's the way he is, that you will always be paying for him and stop fighting? Enough guys support their girlfriends or wives, why can't you support him? So the guy isn't perfect? Who is? I'm sure you can explain his behavior to your friends, your parents, your future kids, the collectors who will come after you for expenses he incurs... small price to pay so that you won't miss him, wouldn't you say? *sight*

Yeah, I'm being sarcastic. Listen. You're being blessed with blatant signs that you have the wrong guy. Don't blow it! Take the cues that providence is sending you and move on. Yeah, you miss him now, but that will fade with time. If you think you can change this guy, you're delusional. This guy will NOT change. He'll ruin your life. Remember, it's not just the money... read the first paragraph again.

Labels: leech, manipulative boyfriend, money skills