Jaycee, 22, from Canada asks:

A friend of mine who I like as more than a friend seemed to like me back but said that he wanted to wait to sleep together. Before I met him I slept with one of his friends and he told me in the weekend that this puts him off wanting to sleep with me. I asked him why he kept coming around if he was unsure and he said "you know why" and wouldn't say anymore. He said later that I was his best friend. He also said that he is the type of guy that likes the chase, and that I had shown too much interest. I see it as being a good host when he comes to visit and I'm attracted to him so of course it shows. He also said that he likes some attention but not too much but then when I don't text him much he gets mad and says he wonders what I'm doing with other guys when he's not around. I told him I want to be myself and don't want to play games to win him over. Then to see what he said I asked if he wanted to stop seeing me and he said it was a good idea, then I couldn't help becoming upset and he admitted he was trying to wind me up. He just won't talk about his feelings. He said he would come and stay at my place tonight for a week to see how it worked out but now I haven't heard from him. What do I do I have some of his belongings at my house and don't know if this "relationship" is going anywhere, I feel hurt about this guy and wonder if it would be better to end it but every time I see him I back down.

VictorM's advice:

Read your own words. You say you "don't want to play games to win him over. Then to see what he said I asked"... right there you are playing games! Stop that. It's childish.

Most guys hate the idea that a girl they like slept with another guy, much less his friend. It doesn't mean he likes you romantically. Guys are just selfish that way. Read nothing into his egotistical statements -- that's all they are.

Most guys like the chase and when a girl shows too much interest they back away. But that's true only because there's something about her that doesn't quite spell "the one". Not yet anyway.

He knows you like him. He doesn't feel the same way about you. But he likes being around you. Above all, he has control over you. He knows it. He uses it for fun. His fun is your hurt. Stop him from having fun at your expense and the hurt will stop. If you can't do that, you have no one but yourself to blame.

Labels: best friends, mind games