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Saturday, February 03, 2007
His friends like drinking, smoking, and paying for sex
Andy, 30, from asia asks:
Hi, I have been dating a man for three months now. One day, I went out with him and his friends to karaoke. I found all his friends like drinking, smoking, and paying for sex. One of his friends asked a lady to sit next to him and do all those kissing and touching things with tips for her after. My boyfriend is with me most of the time but will hang out with his buddy once in a while. I can't help and stop thinking that he will look for the hooker behind my back. He promises me he won't. And he promises me he will stop smoking. Actually he does hardly smoke now. How can I stop thinking that he wouldn't do things that will hurt me in my back? I know everyone needs friends and all those are his long time friends now. It is not right to ask him not to see them. Please advise!
VictorM's advice:
Just because his friends behave that way doesn't mean he does. Even if he did before he met you, maybe he doesn't now. It's totally possible. But there's no guarantees he will not hurt you behind your back. These are the chances you take. You either trust him or you don't.
His choice of friends and what he thinks of them and their behavior is something you should take into consideration as you judge if he's the right man for you.
Hi, I have been dating a man for three months now. One day, I went out with him and his friends to karaoke. I found all his friends like drinking, smoking, and paying for sex. One of his friends asked a lady to sit next to him and do all those kissing and touching things with tips for her after. My boyfriend is with me most of the time but will hang out with his buddy once in a while. I can't help and stop thinking that he will look for the hooker behind my back. He promises me he won't. And he promises me he will stop smoking. Actually he does hardly smoke now. How can I stop thinking that he wouldn't do things that will hurt me in my back? I know everyone needs friends and all those are his long time friends now. It is not right to ask him not to see them. Please advise!
VictorM's advice:
Just because his friends behave that way doesn't mean he does. Even if he did before he met you, maybe he doesn't now. It's totally possible. But there's no guarantees he will not hurt you behind your back. These are the chances you take. You either trust him or you don't.
His choice of friends and what he thinks of them and their behavior is something you should take into consideration as you judge if he's the right man for you.
Labels: best friends, boyfriend, trust
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