Jessica, 26, from Fort Worth TX asks:

So I met a guy about two years ago at work. We became friends right off the start. Then around a year and a half ago he asked me to hang out. We ended up kissing, he would cuddle with me at night and we would stay up all night talking. Around a month later I finally instigated sex. Afterwards, I told him not to be weird around me at work, and I think that made him think I only wanted to be friends with benefits. Well, time goes on and we are always going somewhere like six flags with our kids, or to a game, or Shreveport always somewhere, and usually just the two of us. Last year we took about 6 months off, and now he has come back into my life again. We have been seeing each other for the last 8 months again. He just recently got full custody of his son, and now he brings him over to my house and we always involve him as well as my two kids. He calls almost every single day, wants to do my taxes, etc. I can tell he really cares about me, the problem is we haven't talked about "us". So the other night I brought it up and asked him what I was to him. His answer was you're Jessica and I'm Gene. I don't know if he didn't understand the question or simply trying to avoid it, so I went to sleep mad, and he knew it. He kissed me in the morning, but it hasn't been brought up since, but it really hurts my feelings that we can talk about everything, except when it comes to our relationship. As a guy what do you think is going on in his head? Do you think he still thinks of me as a friend or that he really does love me? thanks

VictorM's advice:

I wish someone would invent a pill to cure you females of this terrible affliction! You people are so suffocating with the getting mad and hurt feelings over nothing. Yes, NOTHING!

From your description he's very much into you. But after a break-up with the mother of his child, and getting custody of his son, he is in no rush to commit. His answer is simply a reflection of his attitude because of what has happened to him before, not a reflection of his feelings towards you now. There will come a time when he'll know in his head and heart whether you're the right one for him or not. At that point, he'll react and either commit to you or find an excuse to get out of your life. Until then, he's exploring life with you carefully. I'd say that's smart and you will benefit from it in the long run.

So, stop thinking the world revolves around you, enjoy the man's company, give him time to assess if you're the one, and thank your lucky stars you're not with a man who only thinks with his dick.

Labels: boyfriend, commitment