cyndi, 46, from iowa asks:

Hello..last spring I broke my leg in two places and had to be completely non weight bareing for 2 weeks. That prevented me from going on our weekly sunday outings. We always ended up at a friend's house, a female 50 year old who drinks like a fish. Then he started making excuses to go by himself. Then 4 months ago, he left me. I just found out today that he has been trying to have sex with this older women. He likes older women. I'm 46, I always figured he would leave me for a younger woman. I knew something was up, I love this man and can just tell. All the while I suspect he either was interested in someone, trying to fuck someone else or already has...and I was right, he's trying. It took me 9 months to find out the truth. Why is it some men think that women are stupid? Like sometimes we can't just "feel" somethings wrong? So sweetie, does part of this count as cheating? The part where he would leave me home while he went over there and flirted, and god knows what else? What really hurts about this is she is my best friend's sister. Are both sleezy? Thank you so much...Have a great day!

VictorM's answer:

You decide what cheating is, no one else.

I'm not so sure he thought you were stupid or that you'd never catch on; I just think he didn't care if you did. That's a big difference. He saw something in her. Maybe she's just easy, who knows, but people fall in and out of attraction for each other all the time. It's just the way it is.

This has nothing to do with her and who she's related to. He's not into you and that's all there is to it.