Shannon, 30, from: New Hampshire asks:

So this guy and I have been dating, not exclusively, for the last 4 months. He is best friends with my best friends husband and he tells her how he likes me a lot. Yet he won't commit because he doesn't know what he wants to do with work etc yet. He may move this summer. She tells me to just give him time. She is the second person to tell me this. I've been away on a business trip for the last week and before that he was helping a friend move out to California. We have talked every day and he even told me he missed me. He flew down this weekend to see me on my trip and again told me he missed me. So why won't he commit? Should I ask him? I sometimes feel that I want more then he does.

VictorM's advice:

By your own admission you're not even dating exclusively. Doesn't sound like you're that serious either. Anyway, so he likes you some. He misses you (a boiler plate expression that everyone says, which may or may not be true.) So he goes to visit you -- it's not like a person needs to be madly in love to enjoy another person's company.

I don't know if you want more than he does but clearly he's not sure about you yet, hence the talk about moving. If you feel the need to ask how he feels, there's a bad sign right there -- your relationship is not ready for commitment. So don't ask. Besides, you would never get a straight answer anyway.

Date the guy. Learn more about him. Find out what his plans are. Enjoy his company. Come summer if you're still not dating exclusively or if he doesn't change his mind about moving... you're not his "the one" or him yours.

Labels: advice, answer, commitment, relationship