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Wednesday, January 24, 2007
He is looking at porn all the time
Julie, 23, from Michigan asks:
I got married almost a year ago now and I love my husband to death. The problem is that I found out lately that he is looking at porn all the time. This really bothers me and I told him but he basically told me to "grow up" and that it wasn't a big deal. He doesn't understand (or seem to care) what a big deal I think this is. What can I do about it? Or am I overreacting?
VictorM's advice:
No, you're not overreacting. Aside from the porn-watching, your husband's answer for you to "grow up" is an unfortunate reply that unveils both lack of maturity and concern for your feelings.
What you can do, and should do, is to continue to express your personal feelings without pointing a finger or accusing him of wrong-doing. Repeat as often as necessary things like "I don't like it", "I wish you didn't", "It's not the moral environment I want", etc. At some point, your husband will have to decide if his quest for lust is more important than your feelings.
How he reacts, will, in the long run, determine if you will continue to love him to death or not.
I got married almost a year ago now and I love my husband to death. The problem is that I found out lately that he is looking at porn all the time. This really bothers me and I told him but he basically told me to "grow up" and that it wasn't a big deal. He doesn't understand (or seem to care) what a big deal I think this is. What can I do about it? Or am I overreacting?
VictorM's advice:
No, you're not overreacting. Aside from the porn-watching, your husband's answer for you to "grow up" is an unfortunate reply that unveils both lack of maturity and concern for your feelings.
What you can do, and should do, is to continue to express your personal feelings without pointing a finger or accusing him of wrong-doing. Repeat as often as necessary things like "I don't like it", "I wish you didn't", "It's not the moral environment I want", etc. At some point, your husband will have to decide if his quest for lust is more important than your feelings.
How he reacts, will, in the long run, determine if you will continue to love him to death or not.
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