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Tuesday, December 19, 2006
No chemistry
Jessica, 24, from Ohio asks:
I met this guy when I was living in Florida, we went out a few times and had a great time. He lived up here in Ohio where I came to visit him for a week back in August. I just recently moved up here and moved in with him. I am madly in love with him, and want him to feel the same. He says that he doesn't feel any chemistry. What do I do? Please help me.
VictorM's advice:
He's being honest, which is refreshing. But Jessica, there are no magic spells to make him feel the chemistry. I don't know that there's anything you can do either. In fact, the more you try, the less it will help. If you bring up how much you love him you're only suffocating him.
Find your own place, find new friends, live your own life, see him less frequently for a while. It's possible he's just being overwhelmed by your constant presence so soon. Maybe he just needs to see less of you for now and gradually spend more time with you, rather than you being there ALL THE TIME!
But under the current conditions you living with him only makes matters worse. Move out!
I met this guy when I was living in Florida, we went out a few times and had a great time. He lived up here in Ohio where I came to visit him for a week back in August. I just recently moved up here and moved in with him. I am madly in love with him, and want him to feel the same. He says that he doesn't feel any chemistry. What do I do? Please help me.
VictorM's advice:
He's being honest, which is refreshing. But Jessica, there are no magic spells to make him feel the chemistry. I don't know that there's anything you can do either. In fact, the more you try, the less it will help. If you bring up how much you love him you're only suffocating him.
Find your own place, find new friends, live your own life, see him less frequently for a while. It's possible he's just being overwhelmed by your constant presence so soon. Maybe he just needs to see less of you for now and gradually spend more time with you, rather than you being there ALL THE TIME!
But under the current conditions you living with him only makes matters worse. Move out!
Labels: chemistry, living together
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