Elizabeth, 28, from California asks:

My boyfriend does this thing where he will act really annoyed with me sometimes, and then act surprised when I realize that I don't want to be around him when he's like that and leave. It's like he honestly doesn't know he's doing it. What annoys me most is that I know if his friends were there (and this includes his best friend who is a girl) he would NEVER do that to them. I have brought this up and he just says that it is because he is more "comfortable" with them. I am on the verge of dumping him, and just when I think I am ready to I realize that I'm acting like a jerk and feel like I can take it again.

VictorM's advice:

I'm not so sure that the level of comfort with his friends is the reason he doesn't do it with them. The issues facing best friends and a romantic partner are quite different. Guys don't plan a future with friends, and their friends need not be as perfect as the woman with whom they plan to raise a family and spend the rest of their lives. With you, there's a lot more at stake.

His annoyance could be a a reflection of something that's not quite right -- could be with you, with work, with his favorite sports team -- but he's compelled to share it with you, and he does it just like a 4 year old would. Unless he does if too often and for long periods of time, how bad can it be? When it happens, walk away in amusement recognizing he's dealing with his inner child. Go get a manicure, go shopping, pay your bills, etc. In time, he'll learn that acting annoyed gets him nowhere.

Train him... like a puppy.

Labels: boyfriend, jerk