vero, 24, from quebec asks:

First of all I met this guy 3 months ago and he is the guy that when I see him I get butterflies in my tummy and freeze over. Well, we slept together too fast. I think like on the second or third time we saw each other. It was incredible. Anyhow he keeps calling me during the weekend to see me but never asks me to go out but he asks me to move in with me and tells me that he is interested in me and said that we get along great and we will see where it goes. I know I think pretty bad that he has something for me but too egotistic or afraid but he lets me know that he thinks often of me and since the first time he still got the shivers but we play this kind of game that we don't tell each other what's really going on. So I was wondering what should I do about it. I have 2 kids and he is 31 and lets me know that he doesn't want to get into a relationship cause of all the hassles it brings. Why doesn't he ask me out? He tells me that he is not seeing anyone and not sleeping with anyone.

VictorM's advice:

Some guys will do the minimum to get sex, and once they do, they do the minimum to keep it going. As long as you give him what he wants, he'll keep doing it. That includes possible lies such as wanting to live with you and having no other girls.

He doesn't ask you out because he has no interest in you as a girl to have a relationship with. But you can't complain too much, after all, he's let you know he's not interested in a relationship. You can't quibble with his sincerity in this one regard, even if he seems to be laying about other things.

If you're not happy with the arrangements, change them. But continuing the current routine and expecting different results is insane. Maybe it's time to ask him out and see what happens. Or better yet, find butterflies with someone else.


Tags: advice, dating, relationship, question, answer, boyfriend, girlfriend