By the end of their third date, Jay thought it was time. The first two dates had been wonderful. Julie seemed to get him, get his sense of humor, and really enjoy spending time with him. Their first time out, he had simply driven her to work in the morning — an hour-and-a-half commute from Fort Lee, N.J., to Manhattan, which gave them plenty of time to talk. A few nights later, they hopped around to a few different places and again had a great time.

"I just thought that, you know, by the third date, I should try to kiss her," says Jay, a salesman for an international transportation company. But when he leaned over, she turned away, leaving Jay bewildered and discouraged. After his divorce, most of his experiences "out there" had been awkward and frustrating, so he wondered, "Am I just not good with women?"

Jay's bewilderment drove him to seek answers — and a better "game." So, along with six other men in their mid-to-late 30s, Jay paid $1,600 to attend a "charm school," a three-day weekend boot camp in which a cadre of young and more socially successful men would teach them the secrets of wooing women. From the art of conversation to the subtle techniques of kinesthetics — or flirtatious touching — these seven men embarked on a quest to find their inner Adonis, to learn to be desirable, and then practice their skills in the night life of Manhattan.