Hope, 32, from Michigan asks:

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years with a 4 month separation after 8 months. He has a child with an ex that is very hard to get along with. When we had our separation he went back to his son's mother and when she put him out he came back to me. The problem is that I want kids and he knows it. I recently got pregnant and had a miscarriage. It wasn't planned but he was very happy. I thought that we would not prevent it again and he never told me different when I brought it up. Now he doesn't want to have kids/kid with me. He says it's because of his son's mother and all the problems she give him but I think that it's because he doesn't want the financial responsibility or be a part of my life for the next 18 years. I pretty much know the answer but my mind tends to look at the extreme a lot.

VictorM's advice:

Not wanting kids with you because of his son's mother is the one of the lamest excuses I've heard. What he's really saying is that he doesn't want to screw-up the chances of going back to her and I'm assuming she's put down the condition that if he fathers another child he's out of her life. Basically, you're a resting place until he can get her back.

But hey, at least now you know where he stands. It's not always easy doing the right thing but in this case, there is no doubt what the right thing is.


Tags: advice, dating, relationship, question, answer, boyfriend, girlfriend