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Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Leap of faith
marie, 33, from TN asks:
I started dating a guy 2 months ago. He tells me he really likes me but doesn't want to jump in too fast because he got hurt in his last relationship--I also was hurt in my last relationship. What can I do so he will take a leap of faith and not hold back? Is this a sign that he may not be into me? We see each other 3 times a week on average and talk daily. I really am into him--please help me out.
VictorM's advice:
Two months and he still doesn't want to jump into a relationship? That's bullshit. Getting hurt has nothing to do with this; he's just not sure about you yet and he won't be sure about you enough to make a commitment as long as he gets from you what he wants, namely sex and company. If you're giving him what he wants, why shouldn't he take it and still keep his options open?
If you think about it, you're the one who needs a leap of faith. Stop acting like a girlfriend if you're not one. Then he'll either commit or move on.
The ball is on your court.
Tags: advice, dating, relationship, question, answer, boyfriend, girlfriend
I started dating a guy 2 months ago. He tells me he really likes me but doesn't want to jump in too fast because he got hurt in his last relationship--I also was hurt in my last relationship. What can I do so he will take a leap of faith and not hold back? Is this a sign that he may not be into me? We see each other 3 times a week on average and talk daily. I really am into him--please help me out.
VictorM's advice:
Two months and he still doesn't want to jump into a relationship? That's bullshit. Getting hurt has nothing to do with this; he's just not sure about you yet and he won't be sure about you enough to make a commitment as long as he gets from you what he wants, namely sex and company. If you're giving him what he wants, why shouldn't he take it and still keep his options open?
If you think about it, you're the one who needs a leap of faith. Stop acting like a girlfriend if you're not one. Then he'll either commit or move on.
The ball is on your court.
Tags: advice, dating, relationship, question, answer, boyfriend, girlfriend
Comments:
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Hi Marie,
I don't think you can really force anyone to jump into anything. Why try to force a relationship? I don't see anything wrong with dating this guy and not having to define your relationship. The relationship should progress naturally and I think both of you will be a lot happier without defining the relationship right now. If not, you might drive a good guy away coming on too strong.
Cheers,
Napoleon Will's blog
Feel free to email with questions or comments
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I don't think you can really force anyone to jump into anything. Why try to force a relationship? I don't see anything wrong with dating this guy and not having to define your relationship. The relationship should progress naturally and I think both of you will be a lot happier without defining the relationship right now. If not, you might drive a good guy away coming on too strong.
Cheers,
Napoleon Will's blog
Feel free to email with questions or comments
You are not on Ask A Real Guy's Home Page.
Click here to return to Ask A Real Guy's home page where you can submit your own question or read the most recent Questions+Answers.
