lisa, 23, from lincs asks:

A lad I went out with 6 years ago recently told me he still has feelings for me and always has. I'm in a relationship and have been for 5 years and have a 4 year old son. My relationship hasn't been great lately. I'm always stuck in the house, doing nothing. I thought about leaving my boyfriend and getting back with my ex but just as I was going to I got told he was seeing somebody else. I asked him if he lied about what he said to me and said he didn't lie but knew I wouldn't break up with my boyfriend for him. Now I can't stop thinking about him.

VictorM's advice:

I don't think your problem is that you can't stop thinking of him; your problem is you haven't begun to think. Really, this notion that you'll make a decision to end things with one guy to bounce to another you haven't seen in 6 years is nutty. Besides, there's a little boy that factors in this equation.

So you don't get out of the house now... and that's why, because your current boyfriend ties you to the wall? I doubt it. See the door knob on the door? Use it. Find things that you have fun doing and do them.

Now, if you really have no feelings for your current boyfriend, or life with him is not worth it, fine, break-up with him. This should have nothing to do with the next guy. You should act now and put yourself in a position to start a new relationship without performing relationship gymnastics. Maybe the next guy will be with your ex (what made you break-up in the first place and why do you think things will work this time?) or it could be someone new. But if your life depends on bouncing from one guy to the next you're setting yourself up for major disappointments in life.


Tags: advice, dating, relationship, question, answer, boyfriend, girlfriend