Mauricio, 20
United States
Asks:

So I still haven't gotten my fiance to have a noticeable orgasm. I've been with several other women and I usually had no problem getting them to have 2-3 orgasms per each of my orgasms. I've even been with two girls who stated they could not have orgasms during intercourse, and I proved both wrong the first time we had intercourse.

I've tried every technique, position, method, etc I know and I have yet to give her that "eyes rolling back, toes curling" orgasm. In fact I'm not sure she's ever had one at all. She was a virgin before we had sex, but I have been with several virgins and this has never been a problem. I've been carefull not to ever say anything about this or about past relationships with her, so she wouldn't put any more pressure one herself. I figured as she got more comfortable with me and with sex she would be able to have orgasms, but it's been a year and I don't know if this will change.

She does enjoy sex and, in fact, initiates it almost half the time. However, I feel bad that I can't make her (the girl I love more than anything) have that eyes rolling back, toes curling orgasm. I also have to admit it's a little hit to my "machismo" and I feel a little selfish that we just have sex until I am done, when she doesn't "finish". Any thoughts? I've tried everything I could think of to stimulate the clitoris and she enjoys it, just doesn't orgasm. I've also tried every position I know to stimulate the g-spot (and can actually feel it when I stimulate it with my finger), but I can't give her a climax. Do some girls just never climax? Please help

Lee's Thoughts:

Mauricio, what a lovely, eloquent, and compassionate letter!! What a shitty situation!!

You are so sweet to care so much. You have one lucky girl. I'm sorry, but I don't have any magic fairy dust for you. You said you've tried EVERYTHING, so I assume you've spent some long and slow and lucious time down in her jade garden. That would be my main suggestion.

You are already sweet and generous. You know that she needs to feel safe and comfortable. You are WILLING to do what she needs, but can she not TELL you what she needs? What feels good, better, best? Has she ever masterbated herself to orgasm?

Maybe she should begin there. She needs to take control of her own orgasm, figure out what works, and then have a detailed discussion with you about it. This in not YOUR sole responsibility.

Are you sure that she's never had any sexual abuse and/or rape in her past? This could be a big reason why she cannot let herself be vulnerable enough to orgasm.

Aside from all of that, I would suggest that she speak to her doctor. I'm sure there are women out there who never climax, but usually there is a mental, emotional or physical reason why not, and therefore some sort of solution. Her OB/GYN may be able to help.

Good luck!!