Stefania, 20, from UK asks:

My best friend hooked me up with her boyfriend's cousin a few months back. I was attracted to him, but because he couldn't speak English I was put off. Now a few months down the line, I'm finding hard not to think about him and wanting to see him. My friend tells me he feels the same way too, but recently when we were out he didn't act that way. He didn't once offer me a drink (he didn't drink himself), he cruised round the club with my friend's boyfriend for chicks to chat up, and when outside he left me to wait at the long queue for the taxi all by myself. What's confusing me, is the fact that I asked him clearly what he wanted with me, he said he wanted to see what I had to offer him. I don't think he's really that interested, maybe a one night stand is what is on his mind???

VictorM's advice:

I'm struck by the comment "he wanted to see what I had to offer him". I don't know about you, but I have the sneaky suspicion that much more serious than the language difference there's a big gap in what he perceives as the worth of a woman. I would strongly advise you to inquire into that aspect of his upbringing and personal beliefs. The last thing you want is to wind up as a second class citizen to a macho man.

Having said that, and hoping you're cutely aware of that possibility, it's also possible that he's playing hard to get to see just how interested you are. Guys do that often. They appear distant and uninterested just to see if you get curious about their behavior.

There's always the possibility he's after a one night stand, but frankly, that's something you have total control over. It'll only happen if you let it.


Tags: advice, dating, relationship, question, answer, boyfriend, girlfriend