|
Our discussion forum is open for business. Come say hello. |
Monday, July 31, 2006
Tangled up since September
kim, 24, from virginia asks:
My friend and I have been tangled up since September. In that time my ex broke us up into friends again, then my friend started to be more serious with me, then backed off again, then started things up with me, and then backed off. We have been through a lot together. He always has to touch me when I am around and he always wants to know how I am doing or what is going on in my life. We are great together when we are together and he has admitted to being scared. My question is, should I get up and walk or resign another year to his insecurities? I do love him and I don't want to lose him, but it hurts so much.
VictorM's advice:
What makes you think his insecurities will last a year?
Anyway, if he can get close to you when he wants to, and get back off again knowing you'll take him back, why should he stop? He has a good thing going. Maybe they are insecurities, maybe they are doubts, maybe he just wants to play the field from time to time and keep you handy. You have been an enabler of that behavior. Sure, the problem could be his insecurities, but I'm leaning more towards it being you accepting the behavior.
Tell him how you feel about him. Tell him the yo-yo game is over. Tell him to make up his mind. Count to ten. Get an answer. Whatever the decision, make it stick!
Tags: advice, dating, relationship, question, answer, boyfriend, girlfriend
My friend and I have been tangled up since September. In that time my ex broke us up into friends again, then my friend started to be more serious with me, then backed off again, then started things up with me, and then backed off. We have been through a lot together. He always has to touch me when I am around and he always wants to know how I am doing or what is going on in my life. We are great together when we are together and he has admitted to being scared. My question is, should I get up and walk or resign another year to his insecurities? I do love him and I don't want to lose him, but it hurts so much.
VictorM's advice:
What makes you think his insecurities will last a year?
Anyway, if he can get close to you when he wants to, and get back off again knowing you'll take him back, why should he stop? He has a good thing going. Maybe they are insecurities, maybe they are doubts, maybe he just wants to play the field from time to time and keep you handy. You have been an enabler of that behavior. Sure, the problem could be his insecurities, but I'm leaning more towards it being you accepting the behavior.
Tell him how you feel about him. Tell him the yo-yo game is over. Tell him to make up his mind. Count to ten. Get an answer. Whatever the decision, make it stick!
Tags: advice, dating, relationship, question, answer, boyfriend, girlfriend
Comments:
You are not on Ask A Real Guy's Home Page.
Click here to return to Ask A Real Guy's home page where you can submit your own question or read the most recent Questions+Answers.
What exactly is he afraid of? That you're going to bite his big toe when he's not looking? (I once did that to someone..lol..actually, he didn't think it was very funny.)
Get to the bottom of things by asking him what the REAL problem is. If he's not ready to discuss it, then he's not ready to have a relationship...(in which case, just bite his toe!)
Get to the bottom of things by asking him what the REAL problem is. If he's not ready to discuss it, then he's not ready to have a relationship...(in which case, just bite his toe!)
Hi Kim,
I believe people mature with age, as time passes on. But if this guy is insecure, you don't really know how long it will take for him to "grow up". I believe everyone matures at a different pace. Ask yourself if you would rather be with a guy who might lose his insecurities over time or a guy who already has his life together. Try to think outside the box and remove yourself from the emotions you feel right now. I'm sure you'll find the answer to your problems.
Cheers,
marriagematerial.blogspot.com
Post a Comment
I believe people mature with age, as time passes on. But if this guy is insecure, you don't really know how long it will take for him to "grow up". I believe everyone matures at a different pace. Ask yourself if you would rather be with a guy who might lose his insecurities over time or a guy who already has his life together. Try to think outside the box and remove yourself from the emotions you feel right now. I'm sure you'll find the answer to your problems.
Cheers,
marriagematerial.blogspot.com
You are not on Ask A Real Guy's Home Page.
Click here to return to Ask A Real Guy's home page where you can submit your own question or read the most recent Questions+Answers.
