Thursday, July 06, 2006
How to Get Deep
Cory,16
Georgia
Asks:
I really like this girl and last New Years we stayed up all night on a charter bus talking to each other. It was so much fun. Now we Instant Message each other for about 10 minutes a day, but I think our conversations are too shallow. How can I deepen our conversations, and how can I tell if she likes me as MORE than a friend? Finally, if she does turn out to like me how can I ask her out. I think that saying "will you go out/steady with me" is the most cliche way to do it. What's a more modern way to ask? Thank You so much for what you are doing, I really think it will help.
Lee's Thoughts:
If you want to get deep, GET DEEP. You've been IMing, so you've talked about all the superficial stuff, so now talk about something that means something. You could even say that. "Suzie, I know all about your cat Cuddles, but I'd really like to get to know more about you. What was your childhood like? What is your greatest dream in life? Who is your best friend and why? What is your favorite holiday memory? Where do you want to go to college? What do you want your life legacy to be?" Just make a game out of it. The questions can be silly or lighthearted. Ask her about her thoughts on religion. Ask her about her thoughts on the Iraq war or gay marriage or any other current event. It's much easier in writing then in person, but either way works.
As for asking her out, I wouldn't worry about the *Does she like me as more than a friend* part. I would just ask her out AS a friend. Movies, a football game, a concert....just ask her to do something anything. Just spend time with her. Make it simple and it won't be cliche. Once you get more comfortable around her, you'll be able to read her body language and the way she acts around you. Just have fun together and then the romantic part will naturally evolve. You'll both naturally want to get closer and then, before you know it, you'll be *dating*. Just keep it simple and it will all work out.
Georgia
Asks:
I really like this girl and last New Years we stayed up all night on a charter bus talking to each other. It was so much fun. Now we Instant Message each other for about 10 minutes a day, but I think our conversations are too shallow. How can I deepen our conversations, and how can I tell if she likes me as MORE than a friend? Finally, if she does turn out to like me how can I ask her out. I think that saying "will you go out/steady with me" is the most cliche way to do it. What's a more modern way to ask? Thank You so much for what you are doing, I really think it will help.
Lee's Thoughts:
If you want to get deep, GET DEEP. You've been IMing, so you've talked about all the superficial stuff, so now talk about something that means something. You could even say that. "Suzie, I know all about your cat Cuddles, but I'd really like to get to know more about you. What was your childhood like? What is your greatest dream in life? Who is your best friend and why? What is your favorite holiday memory? Where do you want to go to college? What do you want your life legacy to be?" Just make a game out of it. The questions can be silly or lighthearted. Ask her about her thoughts on religion. Ask her about her thoughts on the Iraq war or gay marriage or any other current event. It's much easier in writing then in person, but either way works.
As for asking her out, I wouldn't worry about the *Does she like me as more than a friend* part. I would just ask her out AS a friend. Movies, a football game, a concert....just ask her to do something anything. Just spend time with her. Make it simple and it won't be cliche. Once you get more comfortable around her, you'll be able to read her body language and the way she acts around you. Just have fun together and then the romantic part will naturally evolve. You'll both naturally want to get closer and then, before you know it, you'll be *dating*. Just keep it simple and it will all work out.
