Nicole, 20
Ohio
Asks:

My boyfriend and I live an hour apart. We were together for almost three months, but in the last two weeks we sort of stopped calling each other basically because we were waiting for the other one to call. We broke up about three days ago and I miss him. I didn't want to break up with him because of something like that. We are both shy people so communication is a bit hard but sometimes we just laugh it off because we know.

He also works a lot and doesn't have that much time to make plans with me, but when we can we see each other it's fun and great. He told me that we were good together but its just not the right time, but I want him back, to tell him how I feel and that I still want to date him. He hasn't even taken down his messages on aim and all that we are still together, but I don't know how to talk to him. or even if I should talk to him.

Lee's Thoughts:

If you want to call him, go ahead! You are already broken up, it can't hurt.

But honestly, he doesn't sound like he really wants to be with you. He stopped calling for two weeks, he doesn't make plans with you, and he straight out told you that "its just not the right time". That is guy-ease for "I don't want to date you, but I don't want to hurt your feelings."

You live an hour apart. This is challenging for two people who REALLY want to be together, let alone two people who could care less. It takes time and effort to make a semi-long distance relationship like this work and it does NOT sound like he or you want to put the energy to it.

As for both of you not calling...that is complete game-playing. Both of you were testing each other to see if he/she would call so you wouldn't have to. That ended up well, didn't it? If you like him, show him, if you don't, don't call. It's easy. But you have to realize that these games (and the whole *shy* thing) are not productive. They will stagnate a relationship quickly. Remember this and try to shoot for a more adult approach in the future.