Tuesday, July 18, 2006
The Girlfriend and Her Ex
Francisco, 12
Texas
Asks:
Should I trust my girlfriend if she says she went to the movies with her ex as friends?
Lee's Thoughts:
She 'went' as in, she already went? I have so many questions. How did you find out? Does she go out with him often? Is it one-on-one or a group thing? What do you think about this guy? Does he just want to be her friend, or is he desperately in love with her? How old is this chic? If she isn't driving yet, how did she even get to the movies?
Initially, I thought she wanted to go to the movies with him and was running it by you. But, it sounds like she just went without consulting you and without thinking about how it would make you feel. Uncool.
You can't do much about it now. If you otherwise have a strong relationship, simply tell her how you feel. Tell her if you don't think its cool for a girl to be sitting closely to an ex boyfriend in a dark movie theater. Why didn't she invite you if it was so "just friends"?
It is totally legitimate to be upset by this. Feel free to dump her ass if you wish. But, maybe if you just explain how you feel, she'll open her eyes and realize that if she cared about you, she wouldn't put her relationship in jeopardy like that.
Texas
Asks:
Should I trust my girlfriend if she says she went to the movies with her ex as friends?
Lee's Thoughts:
She 'went' as in, she already went? I have so many questions. How did you find out? Does she go out with him often? Is it one-on-one or a group thing? What do you think about this guy? Does he just want to be her friend, or is he desperately in love with her? How old is this chic? If she isn't driving yet, how did she even get to the movies?
Initially, I thought she wanted to go to the movies with him and was running it by you. But, it sounds like she just went without consulting you and without thinking about how it would make you feel. Uncool.
You can't do much about it now. If you otherwise have a strong relationship, simply tell her how you feel. Tell her if you don't think its cool for a girl to be sitting closely to an ex boyfriend in a dark movie theater. Why didn't she invite you if it was so "just friends"?
It is totally legitimate to be upset by this. Feel free to dump her ass if you wish. But, maybe if you just explain how you feel, she'll open her eyes and realize that if she cared about you, she wouldn't put her relationship in jeopardy like that.
Comments:
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Francisco, your friends choice to go out with her ex as friends (or not) is truly none of your business. As your friend she is NOT required to run anything by you when it comes to her personal relationships. Ok? All you can do is simply express your concerns as a caring friend. Otherwise leave her alone.
And no, it's not appropriate that you "dump her ass" because she hasn't done anything harmful to YOU. Be careful not to view friendships as so disposable. She may have lied to you because you're meddling in her affairs which have NOTHING to do with you. Lieing is NOT cool, however, being only 12 your friend hasn't developed enough self confidence yet to speak plainly without having to worry whether or not you'll disapprove of her choices.
Putting all that aside, I'd also like to point out that I don't think "dating" is age appropriate for 12 year olds.
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And no, it's not appropriate that you "dump her ass" because she hasn't done anything harmful to YOU. Be careful not to view friendships as so disposable. She may have lied to you because you're meddling in her affairs which have NOTHING to do with you. Lieing is NOT cool, however, being only 12 your friend hasn't developed enough self confidence yet to speak plainly without having to worry whether or not you'll disapprove of her choices.
Putting all that aside, I'd also like to point out that I don't think "dating" is age appropriate for 12 year olds.
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