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Friday, June 30, 2006
Just a shag
Natalie Thomas, 19, from Scotland asks:
I started seeing a guy two months ago and we both felt that we were made for each other. He works off shore and after a month of us dating he went off to work for 3 weeks and they can't use their phones so I never heard from him. I went round to his the day he came back which was also his birthday and I bought him a watch so I brought it round. We watched the football and I ended up sleeping with him for the first time then we sat and snuggled up on the sofa. I called him the next day and got no answer. I then proceeded to leave him to get in contact with me but he never did so after 5 days I called him again and still got no answer. Then yesterday I got a text message to say that he had been on a bender with his mates and thought that I was getting too heavy too soon so it was over and that I could do a lot better than him cause he thought he treated me like dirt. And I never got his present back and it cost over £200. What a waste! Was I just a shag or is he just insecure?
VictorM's advice:
I don't think you were just a shag or that he's insecure. He gave you the answer but you're purposely overlooking it. He said you got too heavy too soon! Period! Full stop! There it is. He was straight and honest.
Why should he give you the watch back? You gave it to him for his birthday. It belongs to him. Giving this guy such an expensive watch after only a few weeks, in my view, supports what he said: you're in too heavy too soon.
Next time... take your time.
Tags: advice, dating, relationship, question, answer, boyfriend, girlfriend
I started seeing a guy two months ago and we both felt that we were made for each other. He works off shore and after a month of us dating he went off to work for 3 weeks and they can't use their phones so I never heard from him. I went round to his the day he came back which was also his birthday and I bought him a watch so I brought it round. We watched the football and I ended up sleeping with him for the first time then we sat and snuggled up on the sofa. I called him the next day and got no answer. I then proceeded to leave him to get in contact with me but he never did so after 5 days I called him again and still got no answer. Then yesterday I got a text message to say that he had been on a bender with his mates and thought that I was getting too heavy too soon so it was over and that I could do a lot better than him cause he thought he treated me like dirt. And I never got his present back and it cost over £200. What a waste! Was I just a shag or is he just insecure?
VictorM's advice:
I don't think you were just a shag or that he's insecure. He gave you the answer but you're purposely overlooking it. He said you got too heavy too soon! Period! Full stop! There it is. He was straight and honest.
Why should he give you the watch back? You gave it to him for his birthday. It belongs to him. Giving this guy such an expensive watch after only a few weeks, in my view, supports what he said: you're in too heavy too soon.
Next time... take your time.
Tags: advice, dating, relationship, question, answer, boyfriend, girlfriend
Comments:
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Hi Christine,
I think it was both of your suggestions. He might be at a stage in his life where he is just looking for sex without commitment. Unfortunately, you wanted more than just a one time thing. From your description, it seemed as though you were coming on a little strong at the start. This may just be your personality or your want to be in a meaningful relationship. Next time, I think you should ask a guy if he wants a relationship. Most guys are honest when it comes to these types of questions. Don't worry, even guys come on too strong sometimes. Find a guy who is willing to have a relationship with you, I wish you the best.
marriagematerial.blogspot.com
I think it was both of your suggestions. He might be at a stage in his life where he is just looking for sex without commitment. Unfortunately, you wanted more than just a one time thing. From your description, it seemed as though you were coming on a little strong at the start. This may just be your personality or your want to be in a meaningful relationship. Next time, I think you should ask a guy if he wants a relationship. Most guys are honest when it comes to these types of questions. Don't worry, even guys come on too strong sometimes. Find a guy who is willing to have a relationship with you, I wish you the best.
marriagematerial.blogspot.com
Sorry, hon, you were just a shag. Next time, keep your pants on! Guys will sound like Prince Charming to get a piece...
Girls want answers! They think that sex is the ultimate showing of love, and that it brought you closer and he was just-oh-so-sweet-we-cuddled-all-night. Guys think, ya-hoo, I saw her boobies! If you want a RELATIONSHIP, don't be so fast next time.
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Girls want answers! They think that sex is the ultimate showing of love, and that it brought you closer and he was just-oh-so-sweet-we-cuddled-all-night. Guys think, ya-hoo, I saw her boobies! If you want a RELATIONSHIP, don't be so fast next time.
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