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Sunday, June 11, 2006
2 1/2 Year Old Meltdowns
Heather, 32 from PA asks...
I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter that is VERY head strong and independent. She has tantrums usually everyday, but occasionally she has "melt-downs". She has had 2 in the last 2 days. The last was just a few minutes ago all over her not being allowed to climb her sister's ladder into her top bunk bed. I pulled her off, ready to read a book that she asked for and that started the kicking, screaming, and crying that lasted for 30 min. or so. We do spank her when she has the tantrums and unfortunatly yell at her, but it does not help. My husband gets frustrated and leaves and then I try to let her scream it out until she is calm enough that I can hold her and talk calmly to her. It sometimes takes 15 min. or so for her to want any comfort from anyone. I finally got her settled and then when she asked for her book and I said no because of her behavior it started it all over again with high pitched screaming. I kept telling her no on the book, and finally got her to compromise on me singing her a song instead, but that took many minutes of coaxing. What else should I do when she is like this? It is so frustrating and this has been going on for about a year, but recently got better, and now we are back to square one it seems like. I feel like I don't know what to do. My older daughter who is 5 NEVER acted like this. Please help, I am desperate for some advice!!!!
Stacy Says...
Sounds like the typical case of the terrible twos. Kids all have different temperments so while your 5 year old was an angel, seems like your youngest is declaring to all the world at an early age what she wants. And obviouly not afraid to endure spankings, time out or other disciplinary tactics to get HER way. The makings of a constant struggle between mother and daughter. (My daughter is heading down the same path)
I think you're doing a great job as far as sticking to your guns and not giving in to her demands. It's exhausting and infuriating but well worth it. You're making it clear to her (even though it might not seem like it now) that YOU and your husband are in control, not her. And she's going to go through stages where she's acting better, then like a terror. That's normal. There are no magic words or actions that can whisk you forward in the future to a time where she doesn't act like a maniac at times. But I think you're doing a wonderful job in how you're handling it, just keep it up.
I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter that is VERY head strong and independent. She has tantrums usually everyday, but occasionally she has "melt-downs". She has had 2 in the last 2 days. The last was just a few minutes ago all over her not being allowed to climb her sister's ladder into her top bunk bed. I pulled her off, ready to read a book that she asked for and that started the kicking, screaming, and crying that lasted for 30 min. or so. We do spank her when she has the tantrums and unfortunatly yell at her, but it does not help. My husband gets frustrated and leaves and then I try to let her scream it out until she is calm enough that I can hold her and talk calmly to her. It sometimes takes 15 min. or so for her to want any comfort from anyone. I finally got her settled and then when she asked for her book and I said no because of her behavior it started it all over again with high pitched screaming. I kept telling her no on the book, and finally got her to compromise on me singing her a song instead, but that took many minutes of coaxing. What else should I do when she is like this? It is so frustrating and this has been going on for about a year, but recently got better, and now we are back to square one it seems like. I feel like I don't know what to do. My older daughter who is 5 NEVER acted like this. Please help, I am desperate for some advice!!!!
Stacy Says...
Sounds like the typical case of the terrible twos. Kids all have different temperments so while your 5 year old was an angel, seems like your youngest is declaring to all the world at an early age what she wants. And obviouly not afraid to endure spankings, time out or other disciplinary tactics to get HER way. The makings of a constant struggle between mother and daughter. (My daughter is heading down the same path)
I think you're doing a great job as far as sticking to your guns and not giving in to her demands. It's exhausting and infuriating but well worth it. You're making it clear to her (even though it might not seem like it now) that YOU and your husband are in control, not her. And she's going to go through stages where she's acting better, then like a terror. That's normal. There are no magic words or actions that can whisk you forward in the future to a time where she doesn't act like a maniac at times. But I think you're doing a wonderful job in how you're handling it, just keep it up.
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wow it was like listening to myself talking about my little boy .he is the same age and yes its very frustrating my husband and i are at our wits end so i definately know what your talking about.
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