Thursday, May 25, 2006
Two Miscarriages and Two Babies
Sarah, 18
Louisiana
Asks:
I have had two miscarriages, one in '04 and one in '05. Then, the next month I got pregnant with my 4 month old little girl. She is healthy but I just found out that I am 4 weeks pregnant with 2nd baby and just was wondering what my chances are of working out this time? I know I should see my doctor but is there maybe a percentage of my chances of miscarrying with women that have been in the same situation.
Lee's Thoughts:
((DISCLAIMER...all below has been stated based on the assumption that Sarah did not ACCIDENTALLY hit a 1 instead of a 2 or 3...))
You are eighteen years old and you've been pregnant FOUR TIMES??? Damn!
I was about to compose two separate responses for the possibilities that you were a) married or b) not married. I decided it REALLY doesn't matter.
YES, there is a higher chance of a miscarriage because of your history and because you are too immature, young and unstable to be having kids right now. Your body and the universe are screaming out to you that NOW IS NOT THE TIME. ((And no..please don't confuse me with the likes of Pat Robertson or whoever that says stuff like *God was punishing all the sinners in New Orleans..and pretty soon he's going to wipe SanFran off the map*...but I digress))
You first got pregnant when you were either 16 or 17. I'm betting that you weren't married in a strong and healthy relationship. I'm betting you don't own your own house, you may not even being paying rent on your own apartment. This all may seem beside the point of your question, but in my opinion this is the CENTER of the question. Maybe its too late to be thinking about these things, since you've already brought your daughter into this world. But for the love of all that is good, STOP PROCREATING.
Again, I state the obvious...YOU ARE EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD. Why do you think that you are only valuable as a baby-machine? Why don't you read a book? Why don't you take a class? Why don't you do something OTHER than have sex? Do something that eriches your SOUL without involving innocent children.
I can't imagine having two miscarriages. I don't mean to minimize the pain of it at all, but something needs to change and I think its you. Aside from the financial and relationship questions...what about your mental and emotional maturity? Why don't you wait until you have more than 6 months under your belt as a full-fledged adult to become a mom again? You have things to learn. You JUST stepped out of girlhood. Doesn't your daughter deserve a WOMAN as a mom?...along with *hopefully, fingers crossed* a DAD that will support her and love her each and every day until she herself is an adult??????
I know, your daughter is already here. I know, you're pregnant. Luckily I, as a cold hard computer screen can pound out the hard truth to you without worrying about hurting your feelings. I can tell you what NEEDS to be said in the hopes of saving any more children from growing up with teenage parents.
Oh yeah, and GO SEE A DOCTOR.
Louisiana
Asks:
I have had two miscarriages, one in '04 and one in '05. Then, the next month I got pregnant with my 4 month old little girl. She is healthy but I just found out that I am 4 weeks pregnant with 2nd baby and just was wondering what my chances are of working out this time? I know I should see my doctor but is there maybe a percentage of my chances of miscarrying with women that have been in the same situation.
Lee's Thoughts:
((DISCLAIMER...all below has been stated based on the assumption that Sarah did not ACCIDENTALLY hit a 1 instead of a 2 or 3...))
You are eighteen years old and you've been pregnant FOUR TIMES??? Damn!
I was about to compose two separate responses for the possibilities that you were a) married or b) not married. I decided it REALLY doesn't matter.
YES, there is a higher chance of a miscarriage because of your history and because you are too immature, young and unstable to be having kids right now. Your body and the universe are screaming out to you that NOW IS NOT THE TIME. ((And no..please don't confuse me with the likes of Pat Robertson or whoever that says stuff like *God was punishing all the sinners in New Orleans..and pretty soon he's going to wipe SanFran off the map*...but I digress))
You first got pregnant when you were either 16 or 17. I'm betting that you weren't married in a strong and healthy relationship. I'm betting you don't own your own house, you may not even being paying rent on your own apartment. This all may seem beside the point of your question, but in my opinion this is the CENTER of the question. Maybe its too late to be thinking about these things, since you've already brought your daughter into this world. But for the love of all that is good, STOP PROCREATING.
Again, I state the obvious...YOU ARE EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD. Why do you think that you are only valuable as a baby-machine? Why don't you read a book? Why don't you take a class? Why don't you do something OTHER than have sex? Do something that eriches your SOUL without involving innocent children.
I can't imagine having two miscarriages. I don't mean to minimize the pain of it at all, but something needs to change and I think its you. Aside from the financial and relationship questions...what about your mental and emotional maturity? Why don't you wait until you have more than 6 months under your belt as a full-fledged adult to become a mom again? You have things to learn. You JUST stepped out of girlhood. Doesn't your daughter deserve a WOMAN as a mom?...along with *hopefully, fingers crossed* a DAD that will support her and love her each and every day until she herself is an adult??????
I know, your daughter is already here. I know, you're pregnant. Luckily I, as a cold hard computer screen can pound out the hard truth to you without worrying about hurting your feelings. I can tell you what NEEDS to be said in the hopes of saving any more children from growing up with teenage parents.
Oh yeah, and GO SEE A DOCTOR.
Comments:
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Could not have said it better myself! While I'm all about being a mother and the joys of having a baby. There's NO WAY I could have handled that at 18. Take care of the one you have, nurture the one that's coming but then do some inner reflection. STOP! Work on you and the babies--leave the man out for a bit!
No one asked for moral views. I hope things go well. However, birth control ... heard of it? My niece and nephews' mom is 23 and has 3 kids. I don't see anything wrong with that, even though she's not married. Don't worry about what people think of YOU for having children, just take care of yourself and your kids. Go see a doctor. Good luck.
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