Tuesday, May 09, 2006
No Call, No Nothing
Caroline, 20
Ireland
Asks:
I've been going out with this guy for 5 months now. Lately he has been a bit weird. One day he's all excited to see me (it will go like that for a few days) then one day every so often, I don't hear from him at all, no call no nothing. I'm not possessive or anything. When he is in good form, I'll receive a message asking how my day is going. But why is he ignoring me every so often?
Lee's Thoughts:
Interesting question....At first I was about to blast you for worrying about a guy who dared to not call you for one day. I mean, he has a life, you have a life, people are busy.
MY NEXT thought is...you call him. Maybe he doesn't want to feel like the obsessive one and he gives you a day to yourself every once in a while. He's giving you the opportunity to show HIM that you are thinking about him and care about him. At 20, you may both be in college, working, or otherwise laying the foundations for your lives. You both have a lot going on and maybe its not the time to fill each other's mind's eye right now. Also, at 5 months of dating, you are at a precipice of deciding if this relationship is going to become stronger and more intense, or simply fade away.
The ages of you and your relationship are both at a sensitive stage right now. Anything and everything could happen. This is when you start creating who you will be for the rest of your life. You make these profound decisions about where to direct your time and energies. You have to learn BALANCE, so that all areas of your life will thrive, especially the most important ones that will be with you throughout your lifetime.
So, if YOU are excited about HIM, call him and and tell him. Tell him you wanted to hear his voice, you wanted to say hello, or you just wanted to connect for a moment during the day. If for some reason he is putting distance between you, or not feeling the vibe anymore, it will be obvious, and there will be many more signs then just missing a phone call for day.
Take it easy and have FUN!
Ireland
Asks:
I've been going out with this guy for 5 months now. Lately he has been a bit weird. One day he's all excited to see me (it will go like that for a few days) then one day every so often, I don't hear from him at all, no call no nothing. I'm not possessive or anything. When he is in good form, I'll receive a message asking how my day is going. But why is he ignoring me every so often?
Lee's Thoughts:
Interesting question....At first I was about to blast you for worrying about a guy who dared to not call you for one day. I mean, he has a life, you have a life, people are busy.
MY NEXT thought is...you call him. Maybe he doesn't want to feel like the obsessive one and he gives you a day to yourself every once in a while. He's giving you the opportunity to show HIM that you are thinking about him and care about him. At 20, you may both be in college, working, or otherwise laying the foundations for your lives. You both have a lot going on and maybe its not the time to fill each other's mind's eye right now. Also, at 5 months of dating, you are at a precipice of deciding if this relationship is going to become stronger and more intense, or simply fade away.
The ages of you and your relationship are both at a sensitive stage right now. Anything and everything could happen. This is when you start creating who you will be for the rest of your life. You make these profound decisions about where to direct your time and energies. You have to learn BALANCE, so that all areas of your life will thrive, especially the most important ones that will be with you throughout your lifetime.
So, if YOU are excited about HIM, call him and and tell him. Tell him you wanted to hear his voice, you wanted to say hello, or you just wanted to connect for a moment during the day. If for some reason he is putting distance between you, or not feeling the vibe anymore, it will be obvious, and there will be many more signs then just missing a phone call for day.
Take it easy and have FUN!
