Kathryn, 15, from Australia NSW asks:

Hi there :), I'm Kathryn and am 15 years old, and in need of some help lol. There's 3 things that I need to ask you about:

1) My friend Simon and me are really close, and I used to have a crush on him and I told him on msn like 5 months after I stopped liking him, and he just said ok. But I only told him because he kept asking me who I used to like and stuff. I used to like him because of his great personality and how nice he was to me, and plus I thought he liked me as well. But I'm not sure if he does like me. There's still part of me that knows that if I never get a boyfriend I know that he's always there, but I'd rather be his best friend more than anything. Can you tell if he likes me, or is he just at the stage where he gets weird around girls like me? He's 6 months younger than me, 14 and a half.

2) There's a guy at my school named Serge and he is a really awesome sweet guy, who I am in love with! I can't stop thinking about him... anyways, last year I had some problem with my ankles and I had to sit out of PE for 3 weeks, and Serge had nothing wrong with him but he sat with me during PE. So I did talk with him but there were awkward silences and stuff. Since then a couple of times he's looked at me and tried to get my attention, but I completely ignore it and pretend he didn't do anything, pretend he wasn't looking at me because if I looked at him back I was scared that he would smile at me! I couldn't believe that I am like that, I wish I could just walk past him and say hi, I wish we were friends right now, and we could have been if it wasn't for all the ignoring of him :(. I feel so stupid, I wish it could start over. Right now, I want to talk to him and have another one of our conversations like we did during pe, but I'm too damn scared and he seems different because I haven't been "noticing him"(which i have but don't want him to see) as much lately. Please tell me what you think, and does he like me? Is he nervous? Please tell me your thoughts of this really complicated story.

3) There's another guy at my school who likes me, but he can get annoying when looking at me, he's in my class with his friend who tries to make me pay attention to Brad (the guy who likes me) by calling his name loudly and punching each other (Brad's friend is named Kurt.) I know Brad likes me because he's ALWAYS looking at me, I catch him doing it and it really gets on my nerves because I don't like him, maybe as a friend maybe but not anything else. If he asks me out I'm scared of what to say I'd just freeze. You see I've never had a boyfriend, I've never had any guy ask me out before, I've never asked anyone out before, I am so scared of what to do. I try to ignore this Brad and Kurt but wherever I go Brad's way away behind me staring at me. Like in class he always sits behind me, never in front. Tell me what you think please :) Sorry this all took awhile, but I thought I'd better write exactly what's on my mind, and if I've forgotten anything I'll let you know, I am at the stage where I say to myself that I need to do the things that I want before its all over and gone, but nothing seems to work, I always just become shy and do nothing!!! Thank you so much, please answer me soonxox kathryn

VictorM's answers:

Boy, this has to be the longest submission (and I edited it down some), but also a very cute one. I was chronically shy at your age, so I can relate.

1) Of course he likes you but he's 14 -- he's basically a freak of nature at this point.

2) If you can't bring yourself up to smile at a guy you don't deserve him. Come on Kathryn, you have to make SOME effort. A smile isn't a lot. Make an effort. I don't know if he's nervous but it's only natural that he doesn't approach you since you're sending him "stay away" signals.

3) Not ever having a boyfriend at 15 is nothing unusual, so don't sweat it. If Brad asks you out just say: "Oh Brad, that is so cute of you to ask but really, I'd rather eat pig vomit than go out with you". OK, just kidding, don't say that. Just say: "No, but thanks for asking".

Your shyness is a problem. You aren't going to change overnight, but as I said in bullet 1 above, you are going to have to make some effort. Start with smiling. Force yourself to smile at the boys. The more courageous ones will start talking to you and things will get easier after that.