Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Anal Sex
Sarah, 20
South Carolina
Asks:
I have just started to have sex with my boyfriend about a week to two weeks ago. The other day he wanted to try to have anal sex. We talked about it before we wanted to try it. He talked me into it, at least trying it. He got it in half way, and I was trying to relax for him. He said I was doing fine so far, but then I just couldn't handle it anymore. I asked him to stop, but he wanted to keep going. I tried to pull always from him, but he was kind of fighting with me, telling me to just relax and how it hurts the first time. I got off of him, and started crying really bad. He's like, "I told you it would hurt the first few times." I want to know how can I let him have anal sex, when it hurts so bad? Is there any easy way of doing it?, and how long will it hurt till it comes easier?
Lee's Thoughts:
Sarah, listen to me very closely...Your boyfriend is a complete, insensitive, egotistical, egocentric, and sadistic ASSHOLE (pardon the pun). You should run, not walk far far away from this jerk.
(Deeeeeeppp Breaths.......) Okay, I may be calmer now. I just had to get that out of my system before I proceeded with my witty and enlightening pearls of wisdom. Okay...on to witty and enlightening...
Anal sex. Personally, I'm not a fan. No, I've never tried it, but I really don't think pain should be involved in LOVE-MAKING (An occasional spank here and there, but that's an entirely different story). There are so many other ways to have sex and have FUN and feel GOOD, that I just have never felt the need to experiment with it. Also, lucky for me, I have a partner who would sooner push a dull pencil through his eyeball before ever wanting to see me in pain, let alone be the CAUSE of my pain.
HOWEVER, lots of people I love and respect engage in anal sex. There is nothing wrong with it at all IF both partners are consenting and aware of the boundaries of the experiment (For example, when I say stop, YOU F$#KING STOP!).
It is really true with all sexual acts/positions/experimentation, including anal sex, that they are all a journey of love and essential TRUST to reveal yourself, touch another, create heat with another, arouse each other to climax, and be completely vulnerable together in the most intimate of situations. For me, simply kissing is a soul stirring and amazing essence exchange. You lay down before your partner. You shed your layers and expose yourself to him or her and you TRUST him or her with not only your body, but your delicate insides.
The very first time I had sex, the thought running through my head was not, "I am so in love with this man," it was, "I TRUST this man."
Anal sex (especially) requires trust in your partner. Your boyfriend was lucky that he had a girl willing to experiment in this way, willing to endure a moment of pain so that HE could have the pleasure. At the moment when you decided that it was too much, HE DID NOT CARE. He wanted more and HE DID NOT CARE that you were in pain. A real man would have stopped immediately, thanked you, held you, caressed you, and kissed you and then thanked the universe that he had such a beautiful and wonderful gal.
I truly hope that this was not the guy you gave your virginity to. I hope that you have had better experiences than this man. In answer to your questions...
"How can I let him have anal sex when it hurts so bad?"
You shouldn't let this man near you ever again.
"Is there any easy way of doing it?"
Yes, with someone else, and lots of lube.
"How long will it hurt until it comes easier?"
It will hurt like a bitch until you find yourself another man.
Take care Sarah.
South Carolina
Asks:
I have just started to have sex with my boyfriend about a week to two weeks ago. The other day he wanted to try to have anal sex. We talked about it before we wanted to try it. He talked me into it, at least trying it. He got it in half way, and I was trying to relax for him. He said I was doing fine so far, but then I just couldn't handle it anymore. I asked him to stop, but he wanted to keep going. I tried to pull always from him, but he was kind of fighting with me, telling me to just relax and how it hurts the first time. I got off of him, and started crying really bad. He's like, "I told you it would hurt the first few times." I want to know how can I let him have anal sex, when it hurts so bad? Is there any easy way of doing it?, and how long will it hurt till it comes easier?
Lee's Thoughts:
Sarah, listen to me very closely...Your boyfriend is a complete, insensitive, egotistical, egocentric, and sadistic ASSHOLE (pardon the pun). You should run, not walk far far away from this jerk.
(Deeeeeeppp Breaths.......) Okay, I may be calmer now. I just had to get that out of my system before I proceeded with my witty and enlightening pearls of wisdom. Okay...on to witty and enlightening...
Anal sex. Personally, I'm not a fan. No, I've never tried it, but I really don't think pain should be involved in LOVE-MAKING (An occasional spank here and there, but that's an entirely different story). There are so many other ways to have sex and have FUN and feel GOOD, that I just have never felt the need to experiment with it. Also, lucky for me, I have a partner who would sooner push a dull pencil through his eyeball before ever wanting to see me in pain, let alone be the CAUSE of my pain.
HOWEVER, lots of people I love and respect engage in anal sex. There is nothing wrong with it at all IF both partners are consenting and aware of the boundaries of the experiment (For example, when I say stop, YOU F$#KING STOP!).
It is really true with all sexual acts/positions/experimentation, including anal sex, that they are all a journey of love and essential TRUST to reveal yourself, touch another, create heat with another, arouse each other to climax, and be completely vulnerable together in the most intimate of situations. For me, simply kissing is a soul stirring and amazing essence exchange. You lay down before your partner. You shed your layers and expose yourself to him or her and you TRUST him or her with not only your body, but your delicate insides.
The very first time I had sex, the thought running through my head was not, "I am so in love with this man," it was, "I TRUST this man."
Anal sex (especially) requires trust in your partner. Your boyfriend was lucky that he had a girl willing to experiment in this way, willing to endure a moment of pain so that HE could have the pleasure. At the moment when you decided that it was too much, HE DID NOT CARE. He wanted more and HE DID NOT CARE that you were in pain. A real man would have stopped immediately, thanked you, held you, caressed you, and kissed you and then thanked the universe that he had such a beautiful and wonderful gal.
I truly hope that this was not the guy you gave your virginity to. I hope that you have had better experiences than this man. In answer to your questions...
"How can I let him have anal sex when it hurts so bad?"
You shouldn't let this man near you ever again.
"Is there any easy way of doing it?"
Yes, with someone else, and lots of lube.
"How long will it hurt until it comes easier?"
It will hurt like a bitch until you find yourself another man.
Take care Sarah.
