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Friday, April 07, 2006

Tips for Replying, and for Making First Dates

When corresponding online and planning a first date, here are some tips from sexuality.org

Replies should be more than just a few sentences, but likewise shouldn't be a multi-page tome. Include their name so they don't think it's a form reply, and of course comment on or ask a question about something they included in their profile.
Proceed only as quickly as you're comfortable proceeding. Never give someone your last name, everyday e-mail address, personal web site address, home address or phone number, employer information, or any other personally identifying information, just right off the bat (and a tip: be sure that you don't have an automated signature line in your
e-mail program which would inadvertently include this information in your replies to someone).
Trust your instincts. If you have a nagging fear that someone may be unsafe, or if you have nagging suspicions that they're lying about something, yet you don't have these same fears about everyone you meet, then they're probably based on something real.
First dates should generally be in a public place - a coffee shop is usually best. You should arrange to have your own transportation, so your date doesn't have to pick you up at home.
It's always good advice to let a close friend know where you'll be, when you expect to be back, and whom you'll be seeing (perhaps providing that person with all the identifying information for that person which you have). The "safe call" helpful in some circumstances - you agree to call your friend back at a certain time to let them know everything is OK, but if you don't call them they're supposed to assume something has gone wrong.
Remember that people like to talk about themselves, particularly with someone who genuinely seems interested in them. Seeing someone for the first time is exciting, it's getting a little glimpse into a whole life as complex as your own but which has followed a completely different course. It's an experience to be savored, like a fine wine.