Wednesday, April 26, 2006
She's Finally Free, But I'm Moving
Jordan,24
Georgia
Asks:
I've known this girl for about a year now and she's been engaged for two years. We've usually bs'd time to to time whenever I see her at the coffee shop where she works at. Well, she just broke up with her fiance and is currently single. I've been wanting to date this girl from the first time I met her and I finally have my opportunity. I took her out on a couple of dates and we're good, but the only thing is she's not ready for a relationship just yet and I can't blame her for that. I know if I give her time there is a possibility of our relationship going further, but right now I don't have that kind of time. I'm currently in the Air Force and next month I'm going back to California to live and attend college.
I told her that I was torn between moving back to California and possibly staying in the local area to get to know her better. I told her I understood she had just gotten out of a two year long relationship and needed her space to recoup from her breakup. I really like this girl a lot and she tells me all the time of how funny I am and how I have a great sense of humor. I'm wanting to stay in the local area but I'm getting pressure from my mom to move back. Keep in mind to my mom is also not doing too good on her health. I need to make decision real quick and need some advice.
Lee's Thoughts:
I'm sorry Jordan, but you need to drop this and move to California. I know the timing sucks, but you need to think about your future. You have to do what is best for you NOW, not put energy into what may be a possibly cool romance if things were different. As you said, she needs time to be by herself and to evaluate what happened to her engagement and what she needs/wants from now on. That is not an overnight process. You can't drop everything to stick around in the area waiting for her to heal and be ready for a relationship.
GO TO COLLEGE. GET YOUR DEGREE. Keep in touch with her, but DO NOT drop all of your plans for this girl. See her during school breaks. Email or write. If it's meant to be, this distance will be really great for you both. If it's meant to be, she'll use this time to heal and it will all work out in the end. But right now, you need to take care of you and your future.
Good luck.
Georgia
Asks:
I've known this girl for about a year now and she's been engaged for two years. We've usually bs'd time to to time whenever I see her at the coffee shop where she works at. Well, she just broke up with her fiance and is currently single. I've been wanting to date this girl from the first time I met her and I finally have my opportunity. I took her out on a couple of dates and we're good, but the only thing is she's not ready for a relationship just yet and I can't blame her for that. I know if I give her time there is a possibility of our relationship going further, but right now I don't have that kind of time. I'm currently in the Air Force and next month I'm going back to California to live and attend college.
I told her that I was torn between moving back to California and possibly staying in the local area to get to know her better. I told her I understood she had just gotten out of a two year long relationship and needed her space to recoup from her breakup. I really like this girl a lot and she tells me all the time of how funny I am and how I have a great sense of humor. I'm wanting to stay in the local area but I'm getting pressure from my mom to move back. Keep in mind to my mom is also not doing too good on her health. I need to make decision real quick and need some advice.
Lee's Thoughts:
I'm sorry Jordan, but you need to drop this and move to California. I know the timing sucks, but you need to think about your future. You have to do what is best for you NOW, not put energy into what may be a possibly cool romance if things were different. As you said, she needs time to be by herself and to evaluate what happened to her engagement and what she needs/wants from now on. That is not an overnight process. You can't drop everything to stick around in the area waiting for her to heal and be ready for a relationship.
GO TO COLLEGE. GET YOUR DEGREE. Keep in touch with her, but DO NOT drop all of your plans for this girl. See her during school breaks. Email or write. If it's meant to be, this distance will be really great for you both. If it's meant to be, she'll use this time to heal and it will all work out in the end. But right now, you need to take care of you and your future.
Good luck.
