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Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Mind games, part 2
leigh, 28, from va asks:
Why do men play mind games? Why do they make you feel something that isn't true? To me that is like that they want to hurt peoples feelings, which is mean. This is actually part of my other post but I could not get to add to it. sorry. So if I spooked him then why can't he just be honest instead of playing mind games. Thanks for the info.
VictorM's answer:
Honesty can be quite mean. Most of us balance the truth in ways to prevent hurting people's feelings. Walking up to a girl and telling her things like "You bore me", or "your love making sucks", or "you're irritating to me" could very well be the truth, but most guys -- and most girls -- would not want to do that. So instead, we camouflage our feelings with things like "You're too good for me", "We're good together but this isn't the right time", "You're the type to get serious about and I'm not ready to get serious right now", etc.
These are not mind-games; they're just white lies intended to minimize hurt.
Why do men play mind games? Why do they make you feel something that isn't true? To me that is like that they want to hurt peoples feelings, which is mean. This is actually part of my other post but I could not get to add to it. sorry. So if I spooked him then why can't he just be honest instead of playing mind games. Thanks for the info.
VictorM's answer:
Honesty can be quite mean. Most of us balance the truth in ways to prevent hurting people's feelings. Walking up to a girl and telling her things like "You bore me", or "your love making sucks", or "you're irritating to me" could very well be the truth, but most guys -- and most girls -- would not want to do that. So instead, we camouflage our feelings with things like "You're too good for me", "We're good together but this isn't the right time", "You're the type to get serious about and I'm not ready to get serious right now", etc.
These are not mind-games; they're just white lies intended to minimize hurt.
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