Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Didn't Do Anything Wrong!
John, 22
South Africa
Asks:
Last weekend my girlfriend and I had a fight and she went off to another club to hang around with other friends. I really messed up and wanted to say sorry, but no help. She left and my ex showed up. She started talking to me and we had some laughs. She came over to my place (had to carry me inside as I was very drunk). I passed out and when I woke up she was still there. I took her home and nothing happened.
My girlfriend freaked when she found out (naturally) and I said nothing happened. She says she believes me but is still too hurt and doesn't know if she wants to give us another chance or move on. She phoned me and started crying as she said she never loved anyone so much and still does. I love her so much and made an honest mistake. Now people are telling her something did happen in my room. They keep confusing her and I'm afraid of losing her because they can't stand us being together and happy. I'm really heartbroken. Please help...sorry for such a long letter. :(
Lee's Thoughts:
For some reason, I believe you. Of course your girlfriend is hurt, but mostly she feels stupid for causing that situation to begin with. It's actually her fault, but don't tell her that. It sucks that you have people working against you, but you just have to put some energy into helping her to realize you love her and you didn't do anything with the ex. Now is the time for some GRAND and ROMANTIC ACTION.
You need to send her flowers. You need to send her love notes. You need to make sure she feels safe and happy and confident in your relationship. Maybe let her know what an amazing hangover you had the morning after. Let her know that there was no possible way anything could have happened with that other girl since you were SOOO WASTED because you were SOO upset about your fight. It may take a lot of repetition to get through to her, but I think you have a good start since she called you saying she's never loved anyone like you. She WANTS to forgive you (even though you did nothing wrong). Does this make sense?
And also, what is with these other people? Why are they being so destructive and trying to cause trouble? I would not hang out with these people if I were you.
This is easily fixable. Girls are naturally romantic and naturally forgiving. Get to it!!
South Africa
Asks:
Last weekend my girlfriend and I had a fight and she went off to another club to hang around with other friends. I really messed up and wanted to say sorry, but no help. She left and my ex showed up. She started talking to me and we had some laughs. She came over to my place (had to carry me inside as I was very drunk). I passed out and when I woke up she was still there. I took her home and nothing happened.
My girlfriend freaked when she found out (naturally) and I said nothing happened. She says she believes me but is still too hurt and doesn't know if she wants to give us another chance or move on. She phoned me and started crying as she said she never loved anyone so much and still does. I love her so much and made an honest mistake. Now people are telling her something did happen in my room. They keep confusing her and I'm afraid of losing her because they can't stand us being together and happy. I'm really heartbroken. Please help...sorry for such a long letter. :(
Lee's Thoughts:
For some reason, I believe you. Of course your girlfriend is hurt, but mostly she feels stupid for causing that situation to begin with. It's actually her fault, but don't tell her that. It sucks that you have people working against you, but you just have to put some energy into helping her to realize you love her and you didn't do anything with the ex. Now is the time for some GRAND and ROMANTIC ACTION.
You need to send her flowers. You need to send her love notes. You need to make sure she feels safe and happy and confident in your relationship. Maybe let her know what an amazing hangover you had the morning after. Let her know that there was no possible way anything could have happened with that other girl since you were SOOO WASTED because you were SOO upset about your fight. It may take a lot of repetition to get through to her, but I think you have a good start since she called you saying she's never loved anyone like you. She WANTS to forgive you (even though you did nothing wrong). Does this make sense?
And also, what is with these other people? Why are they being so destructive and trying to cause trouble? I would not hang out with these people if I were you.
This is easily fixable. Girls are naturally romantic and naturally forgiving. Get to it!!
