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Monday, April 24, 2006
The Bigger Picture of Relationships and Dating
(From sexuality.org)
- The best dating advice, the one piece of wisdom which gets repeated countless times but which is unfortunately rarely heeded, is to get to a point where you LIKE your life and its direction before trying to include someone else in it. Two of the biggest things people find
attractive in potential partners are self-confidence and self-assuredness, both of which flow from this. - If you want a partner because you're lonely, then the fact that you're lonely will make you come across as desperate, and lower the ease with which you can get into a relationship as well as (possibly) the quality of the people you'll be able to attract. If your basic social
needs aren't being met right now, then if nothing else use volunteer work to meet them, so that you already have a full life, filled with something you believe in, before taking the step of including someone else. - If you find yourself constantly thinking "What is this person thinking of me?" or "What could I say or how could I act to impress him or her more," rather than "Wow, I'm really curious why she's interested in X or Y or Z" or "I'm enjoying this conversation" or even "Hey, the food is great here!" then you're probably indulging in insecurity rather than actually enjoying yourself. And life is too short not to enjoy yourself :)
- Don't pretend to be anyone other than yourself. In addition to the fact that people are better at picking up on insincerity than you think, faking it just isn't fun.
- Know what your goals in life are, and why they're important to you.
