TK, 32, from California asks:

I met a guy I've been on 3 dates with so far (and no, the third date rule did not go into effect!). We've had a blast each time. He's emailed me afterwards to say what a great evening he's had each time. I think he likes me, but he doesn't call. We basically communicate through a couple brief emails to set up our next date. A little background: he was divorced 2-3 years ago. Has a 4 1/2 yr old boy. He's 39. He's in a career transition. His son spends about 4 days a week with him. Should I take the initiative and just ask him if he's interested in me? Or will that freak him out? Because while he's with me, he seems really interested. Then the rest of the week we don't even talk. I've never dated someone with a child, but am very open to it. Just don't know how it is. Thanks.

VictorM's advice:

After three dates you want to ask if he's interested in you? TK, he hasn't even had time to clean the fuzz from his navel since he first saw you. Please, do him, and yourself, a favor. Do NOT ask that question. *grumbles to self: why oh why are women in such a rush?*

Anyway, this guy likes you, but he's trying to balance a lot of things. Ease your way into his life. Let him set the pace. Now, that doesn't mean you should sit back and do nothing, but you're going to have to slow down. (By the way, make nothing of him not calling -- most guys hate, HATE, the phone!)

It's quite possible that he's not ready to introduce you to his boy. I wouldn't blame him if he wants to spend time with the kid without introducing another woman. And if you have met the kid, that's a good sign. But the best you can do is be a good listener and not pressure him. I'm telling you, a guy after a divorce, changing jobs, dealing with a son, will not stand for a lot of theatrics and demands. But if you come across as non-threatening and tolerant, he may start leaning on you and letting you in. That's what you should be after at this time.

Tags: advice, dating, relationship, question, answer, boyfriend, girlfriend