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Tuesday, March 28, 2006
My partner and I have been together 6 years
b, 23, from england asks:
My partner and I have been together 6 years he dont work he looks after our son while i work full time isort bells money etc. at the mom i am at home he is in bed its 2pm i feel as though he is only here for an easy ride i have tryed loads of times to talk bout it what should i do ??
VictorM's advice:
I couldn't make out all that you're trying to say but I hope I understood your question correctly. Basically, your partner stays at home, you do the work, he's lazy and not motivated to get a job.
He looks after your son. Is he good at taking care of the child? Because if he is, that is quite a good service he provides. No one would bat an eye if you stayed home and he went to work, so why is that a problem when the situation is reserved? Getting a good baby-sitter is not easy. And as every mother who stays at home will tell you, that's not easy work. That could explain him being in bed at 2 PM.
So how do you motivate an unmotivated man? It's not easy but you don't do it with put downs and insults. Building up his ego works a lot better. If he's remotely good to your child, start saying how grateful you are he's so good. Praise his good behavior. Tell him how good, smart, clever, etc. he is. Talk about him as the man you want him to be. That is much more likely to motivate him than insults will.
Tags: advice, dating, relationship, question, answer, boyfriend, girlfriend
My partner and I have been together 6 years he dont work he looks after our son while i work full time isort bells money etc. at the mom i am at home he is in bed its 2pm i feel as though he is only here for an easy ride i have tryed loads of times to talk bout it what should i do ??
VictorM's advice:
I couldn't make out all that you're trying to say but I hope I understood your question correctly. Basically, your partner stays at home, you do the work, he's lazy and not motivated to get a job.
He looks after your son. Is he good at taking care of the child? Because if he is, that is quite a good service he provides. No one would bat an eye if you stayed home and he went to work, so why is that a problem when the situation is reserved? Getting a good baby-sitter is not easy. And as every mother who stays at home will tell you, that's not easy work. That could explain him being in bed at 2 PM.
So how do you motivate an unmotivated man? It's not easy but you don't do it with put downs and insults. Building up his ego works a lot better. If he's remotely good to your child, start saying how grateful you are he's so good. Praise his good behavior. Tell him how good, smart, clever, etc. he is. Talk about him as the man you want him to be. That is much more likely to motivate him than insults will.
Tags: advice, dating, relationship, question, answer, boyfriend, girlfriend
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