|
Our discussion forum is open for business. Come say hello. |
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
My Friend's Unhealthy Relationship
Sarah, 18
Ohio
Asks:
One of my best friends is in an unhealthy relationship but she just can't see it. I know how her fiance is because he's tried doing things to me while they're engaged. This is the 3rd time he's done stuff with another girl because he knows she won't leave him and she's too naive to realize what he's doing. I've talked to her so many times...What should I do? What should she do?
Lee's Thoughts:
The only thing you can do is make sure that she is aware of what he's done to you and others. Also, if I were you, I would never hang out with them as a couple since he is such a scum. Aside from the simple principle that you just don't want that type of crappy soul within your sphere, for the sake of your own physical safety you need to make sure that you are never alone with him.
As for your friend...I know it is painful, but she is an adult, she is aware of the type of person he is, and SHE IS CHOOSING to be with him for some reason. Maybe she doesn't feel like a REAL MAN, a good man, an honorable man would like her. Maybe she doesn't feel like she deserves a decent man. She obviously has some personal issues (maybe from childhood?) that keep her with this jerk and they are way to much for you to handle.
If you have told her straight out what he's done and she stays with him, the only other thing you can do is make sure she knows that she deserves better. Make sure she knows that she deserves a man who would lie down in mud for her and would never THINK of hitting on her friends. It's extremely hard to help a friend increase her self-esteem. The only way for her to improve it is from within her own heart.
Another glitch is that they are engaged. I'm sure she is knee-deep in the fog of wedding planning and trying not to think about the daily doubts she has. If you bring it up (thus threatening the wedding-related-excitement), you may become the enemy. It is sad, but you may even lose your friend over this. Who can have respect for someone who doesn't even respect herself? Just try to continue to speak the gentle truth to her. Maybe one day it will get through.
Good Luck.
Ohio
Asks:
One of my best friends is in an unhealthy relationship but she just can't see it. I know how her fiance is because he's tried doing things to me while they're engaged. This is the 3rd time he's done stuff with another girl because he knows she won't leave him and she's too naive to realize what he's doing. I've talked to her so many times...What should I do? What should she do?
Lee's Thoughts:
The only thing you can do is make sure that she is aware of what he's done to you and others. Also, if I were you, I would never hang out with them as a couple since he is such a scum. Aside from the simple principle that you just don't want that type of crappy soul within your sphere, for the sake of your own physical safety you need to make sure that you are never alone with him.
As for your friend...I know it is painful, but she is an adult, she is aware of the type of person he is, and SHE IS CHOOSING to be with him for some reason. Maybe she doesn't feel like a REAL MAN, a good man, an honorable man would like her. Maybe she doesn't feel like she deserves a decent man. She obviously has some personal issues (maybe from childhood?) that keep her with this jerk and they are way to much for you to handle.
If you have told her straight out what he's done and she stays with him, the only other thing you can do is make sure she knows that she deserves better. Make sure she knows that she deserves a man who would lie down in mud for her and would never THINK of hitting on her friends. It's extremely hard to help a friend increase her self-esteem. The only way for her to improve it is from within her own heart.
Another glitch is that they are engaged. I'm sure she is knee-deep in the fog of wedding planning and trying not to think about the daily doubts she has. If you bring it up (thus threatening the wedding-related-excitement), you may become the enemy. It is sad, but you may even lose your friend over this. Who can have respect for someone who doesn't even respect herself? Just try to continue to speak the gentle truth to her. Maybe one day it will get through.
Good Luck.
Comments:
<< Home
ok heres the thing. i want to ask this girl out but i dont really know how to. I wanna say something like will u go out with me but in a different phrase. Is there another way for me to do this?
Post a Comment
<< Home
