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Saturday, March 04, 2006
Me? A Mom?
Having my daughter was the single most life-changing event I've ever experienced. Not only did my body massively transform physically, but I got on an emotional roller coaster that didn't suddenly end at childbirth, which I thought it might. I'm not one for those surprising turns.
After 9 months of hormones galore, I thought this instant mother-instinct might kick in and I would know EXACTLY what to do in every situation. The perfect mother, of course. Uh, yeah...not even close. After being sleep deprived for over 5 days (40 hours of labor plus recovery time), I didn't even have the energy to think about brushing my teeth, let alone take care of a newborn. But the darling angel had other plans. Feed me, hold me, change me, burp me, I'm cold, I'm scared, I'm lonely--yes, all of this comes out as WAAAAAAAHHHHHHH and it's the mommy's and daddy's job to decipher the secret baby code.
After birth, you then become responsible for a whole other human being. A whole other human being! This other person pops out of you and the nurses and doctors expect you to know what to with it? I stay at the hospital for 3 days, sharing some of the responsibility with the nurses and then suddenly they kick me out, deeming me ready to be a mother on my own. Huh? I can barely balance my checkbook and now I'm responsible for another life?! But these beautiful eyes look at me saying, "I trust you, mommy." This tiny little baby is COMPLETELY dependent on me. For everything. Am I supposed to know what to do?
But somehow, you just get through it. I think it's from pure adrenaline. Well, adrenaline mixed with a whole lotta love and devotion...
EVERYTHING changes when you have a baby. From what you consider to be a good night's sleep to what you consider a decent meal. Even to what you consider to be a "clean" shirt. Here are some things that change when you have a baby:
1. The definition of a "good-day" is one where you and the baby do not have to change clothes 3 times...maybe only once.
2. Your idea of entertainment is watching your baby discover she can open and close her fist.
3. Ba-da-ma-ma-ma is an ACTUAL word.
4. You find yourself singing, "Jumper-roo, Jumper-roo, Jumper-roo" at work.
5. You keep calling your husband chunky-butt, honey-pie, little booger (Well, you might do that normally)
6. You find yourself thinking that Banana Pudding with Pears and Apples baby food would really make a good snack so you start licking the empty jar.
7. A good night's sleep could be just 3 hours without waking up to shrill screams of hunger.
8. You realize you haven't thought about yourself all day. Instead you thought about the baby maybe 4,765 times.
9. There's a way better reason to come home after work, not just to relax or to see your significant other--but rather to see that smile and face light up when you walk through the door. The greatest stress-reliever ever invented.
10. You ACTUALLY clean your baby's pacifier by putting it in YOUR mouth when you're out and there's no sink in sight after she decided to throw the pacifier on the ground. And it really doesn't disgust you at all.
After 9 months of hormones galore, I thought this instant mother-instinct might kick in and I would know EXACTLY what to do in every situation. The perfect mother, of course. Uh, yeah...not even close. After being sleep deprived for over 5 days (40 hours of labor plus recovery time), I didn't even have the energy to think about brushing my teeth, let alone take care of a newborn. But the darling angel had other plans. Feed me, hold me, change me, burp me, I'm cold, I'm scared, I'm lonely--yes, all of this comes out as WAAAAAAAHHHHHHH and it's the mommy's and daddy's job to decipher the secret baby code.
After birth, you then become responsible for a whole other human being. A whole other human being! This other person pops out of you and the nurses and doctors expect you to know what to with it? I stay at the hospital for 3 days, sharing some of the responsibility with the nurses and then suddenly they kick me out, deeming me ready to be a mother on my own. Huh? I can barely balance my checkbook and now I'm responsible for another life?! But these beautiful eyes look at me saying, "I trust you, mommy." This tiny little baby is COMPLETELY dependent on me. For everything. Am I supposed to know what to do?
But somehow, you just get through it. I think it's from pure adrenaline. Well, adrenaline mixed with a whole lotta love and devotion...
EVERYTHING changes when you have a baby. From what you consider to be a good night's sleep to what you consider a decent meal. Even to what you consider to be a "clean" shirt. Here are some things that change when you have a baby:
1. The definition of a "good-day" is one where you and the baby do not have to change clothes 3 times...maybe only once.
2. Your idea of entertainment is watching your baby discover she can open and close her fist.
3. Ba-da-ma-ma-ma is an ACTUAL word.
4. You find yourself singing, "Jumper-roo, Jumper-roo, Jumper-roo" at work.
5. You keep calling your husband chunky-butt, honey-pie, little booger (Well, you might do that normally)
6. You find yourself thinking that Banana Pudding with Pears and Apples baby food would really make a good snack so you start licking the empty jar.
7. A good night's sleep could be just 3 hours without waking up to shrill screams of hunger.
8. You realize you haven't thought about yourself all day. Instead you thought about the baby maybe 4,765 times.
9. There's a way better reason to come home after work, not just to relax or to see your significant other--but rather to see that smile and face light up when you walk through the door. The greatest stress-reliever ever invented.
10. You ACTUALLY clean your baby's pacifier by putting it in YOUR mouth when you're out and there's no sink in sight after she decided to throw the pacifier on the ground. And it really doesn't disgust you at all.
