jennifer, 16, from bronx, ny asks:

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a year on and off, he was my first. But when we together everything is all good but when we see each other at school it's a different story. He acts like I'm just one of his friends. He gets mad over the littlest things and three days could pass by without him calling then when I ask him about it he says because I ain't called him. Right now we ain't talking because he stood me up and I got mad so he's not talking to me. Let me remind you I'm the one who got stood up. Well, I don't know what I should do. Somebody HELP

VictorM's advice:

Welcome to the world of teenage immaturity, mainly his, but yours too.

Your boyfriend is acting like an idiot. That's easy to tell. But the purpose of going out with another is to see if they're a good fit for you. Do they help make your life a happier one? Along the way, all kinds of signs let you know if this is going to be the case or not. It's not unusual for teenagers to have more ups and downs in their relationships than more mature people, but that still doesn't mean you shouldn't be toning your powers of observation and detecting personality flaws in your partner that will stand in the way of your happiness.

Things like getting "mad over the littlest things", going days without calling you because you didn't call him, and not treating you like a girlfriend at school are, in part, signs of immaturity but they are also a window into the kind of person/friend/lover he is. And the signs aren't very good.

You're getting enough clear signs but ignoring them. Stay with him at your own peril.


Tags: advice, dating, relationship, question, answer, breakup, boyfriend, girlfriend