Elizabeth, 23
Florida
Asks:

I wanted to get your thoughts on long distance relationships.
I met the most perfect guy, but he travels often to Kentucky for his job. I live in Florida.

I know it will take some work, but we really like each other a lot and talk on the phone incessantly every single night.

It’s actually been kind of cool though because I have grown to care about him and know him as a person and for who he is without the whole physical aspect of it. I am going up next weekend to see him and then he will be home for a few weeks after that. I am giddy, nervous and excited to see him, because I wonder how our physical chemistry will be.

I am so hopeful, but worried about this budding romance. Any advice?


Lee’s Thoughts:

I am actually quite a pro at the long distance relationship. Not only did I meet my current stud that way, I married him. If that’s not enough, last year I introduced my very best girlfriend in the world (who lived in the Rocky Mountains) to her fiancé (who lived on the beaches of the east coast) and they will be married this Spring…so beat that!!!

Oh, but we’re not talking about me right now, are we????

Basically…yes, long-distance relationships are emotionally very difficult, but as you said, they provide a way of getting to know each other that so many people miss out on.

The United States has this amazing service available to all citizens of the world. You can actually write a letter on a piece of paper, using any writing tool you may have, put it into an envelope and it will be hand-delivered to the doorstep of the recipient. It is a beautiful thing.

Also, it forces you to ask questions. Ask away!! Ask about all the crazy random details of his life that you might not think about when you’re necking with him in the backseat of a convertible at a drive-in movie. Ask about the things that are most important to you in a significant other.

Have you ever done drugs?
How old were you when you first had sex? Do you regret having it at that age?
What is your biggest regret?
What is your favorite memory about your mom? dad? sibling?
Do you have siblings?
How many, how old?Do you have/want children?What religions speak to you?
What countries have you visited?What is most important to you in this lifetime?
What’s your favorite color?
What’s your favorite meal?

You can be silly, deep, penetrating, superficial…whatever. Make a game of it. This is an excellent chance to reveal yourself and learn about him.

Another important part of the equation is the timeframe. How long will this distance last? Six months? One year? Three years? Does he live in your city? Does he have the ability (or do you) to move if things get really serious? When the time comes, you both are going to have to discuss that decision and someone will have to make the move. I’m not suggesting you pick up your radiant cut diamond just YET. But these are things you should think about if he is really as *perfect* as you say he is.

SO! Yes, it is possible. Yes, it has its benefits and drawbacks. Just stick it out for a while. If he is worth all the pain of a long-distance relationship, you’ll know it. I knew it because I preferred to drive the eight hours to see him for one weekend a month rather than to not have him in my life at all.

People are given all kinds of challenges in life. You make life decisions every day which carry you to your destiny. Will you take on this challenge? Will he be a part of your destiny?

We shall see!!!

Good Luck!!