sarah, 27, from netherlands, asks: I am in a long distance relationship with a 29 year old guy who is living in USA. We can't see each other now, we know each other for 4 months, and I can't say that I am in love with him now, but I like to know him much more now. I enjoy talking with him, and receiving mails from him, but I don't know if long distance relationships work. What is the best I can do now? I will appreciate your advice, thanks.

VictorM's advice: There's a lot of debate over long distance relationships using the internet as the form of communication. You hear some success stories, but I believe those are a minuscule number compared to the "relationships" that go no where.

I think there are enough problems with online relationships that leads me to the advice that they are usually a waste of time and a bad idea. Namely:

• The attraction is mostly a fantasy. You know a little about someone and you fill-in these wonderful qualities you expect the other person to have, most often to be disappointed because no one can live up to your imagination.
• The communication is grossly distorted. Both parties have far too much time to respond, something you don't have in real life and which is what causes so much grief. You really aren't getting a sense of the other person's true character.
• When one of the parties is annoyed it's too easy to get offline by making up excuses you can't verify, therefore blocking you from seeing that person's true patience level or temper.
• It's far too easy to carry on such conversations and "relationships" with several people at once. This is very common among guys who all want to be Casanova. And you'll never know if that's what's going on.
• Most importantly, you lack physical contact. We're very physical beings and without hugging, kissing, feeling, etc. there's a huge gap. Without physical contact, you never form a bond. Never! Oh you will have a character to chat with, but it's a hallow experience unless it gets converted to in-person contact.

Long term online relationships are for people who think life is a fairy tale. I say make real life friends, go out, dance, drink, laugh, hold hands, have sex, talk, fight, makeup... you'll be much better of.

What you're doing right now is not much different from reading a romance novel. The hero seems so perfect but sooner or later you'll run into these words: The End.