kristen, 23, from michigan, asks: I am dating a man that has four kids and I love them dearly, but I am not ready to stop having fun once a month or something. He told me that he doesn't want to do anything but sit home and watch t.v. He also doesn't want me to work at my old job because of my ex, when he don't even live in the same state as me anymore. I really need help. I love him and the kids and I love my life but I still like to have fun. What do I do? And is he being too controlling? Everything has got to be his way or no way!

VictorM's advice: I'm almost convinced that women like you (meaning, in love with someone so wrong for them) can't be helped. You have a date with a miserable destiny and you're not going to break it. And that being the case, things are going to get even "better". If he's too controlling now (you don't have to ask me if he is -- you KNOW he is) imagine as time goes on how bad it's going to get. One good thing you can say about the guy: he's giving you all the warnings that he's the face of your future hell. But you love him dearly. Oh well...

I'd tell you to run away from this guy as fast and as far as possible, but I know you won't. And I know why: you're convinced you can "fix" him and that he and the kids can't live without you. So, if leaving him is not an option, you can at least impose your will so it's not just his way. Be assertive about your wishes, your desire for fun, where you work, and every aspect of your life that's important. Eventually, he'll either accept your ways or break-up with you. Either of the two results is better than what you have now.