laura, 33, from california asks: I was in a relationship with a 35 year old man. After 6 months I moved in with him and a year later we bought a house together. We were very much in love... had a house, a dog... Recently I found out that he was text messaging and emailing another girl whom he had been with 2 years prior. I left, and in two weeks, he had the house sold and the dog went to a good home. He never accepted any responsibility for cheating, and never looked back. My question is how is it that I never received an apology, or begging for forgiveness or any remorse on his part? Instead he hasn't missed a beat. Does he have any feelings or was this whole fairy tale, just that, a fairy tale? Struggling with the fact that he has shown no emotion after he has devastated my life.

VictorM's advice: Some people are very good at putting their "game face on". In this case, we have an individual purely concentrated on himself. He found someone else, you moved out, he moved on. It's always much easier on the one that cheated for they have a new interest; always harder on the one that was left with the feelings and the question marks.

I can't blame you for being where you are emotionally, but at some point I hope you come to realize how lucky you are. Destiny has interfered on your behalf and prevented things from getting much worse for you. You have two things to be thankful for. Let me explain.

This incident has revealed his type of personality: irresponsible, cold, indifferent, selfish, and you can even say cruel. Either because you were blinded by love or because no situations had arisen to shine the spotlight on that aspect of his temperament, you didn't see it. But sooner or later you would have. It could have happened after you got married, and even worse, after you had kids together. Now, imagine what kind of rotten father this guy is going to be. That's the first thing you should be grateful for: neither you nor your kids will find out.

Meanwhile, I know it's hard for you to understand his behavior but that's only because you're a good person. And that's the second thing you should be grateful for: good people have such a hard time understanding rotten ones, which explains your predicament. You're too good to be able to understand him, so stop trying. Being a better person than him is something he can't take away from you.